10 Annoying Anachronisms In Modern Movies

One of the few flaws in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN (which if it's not the best film of the year - it'll do 'til the best film of the year gets here) set in 1980, is that a Carl's Jr. restaurant with a current day sign complete with cartoon smiley face star logo can be seen in the background.



Also a modern Domino's Pizza typeface on a storefront is clearly visible even in a night scene shoot-out. These don't truly distract from the action but they did take me out of the movie somewhat.



A lot of anachronisms in the movies are pretty forgivable. A car model not in line with the period portrayed can be overlooked, much use of music is more an artistic choice than a mistake per say (except when it blares from a radio like the 1971 song "American Pie" in a scene set in 1969 in BORN ON THE 4TH OF JULY), and a lot of clothing and slang can be dismissed. 



However there are those moments where a blatant disregard for correctness and consistency can really mar a movie. So let's take a look at: 



10 Annoying Anachronisms In Modern Movies 



1. A Ms. PacMan Machine in MAN ON THE MOON (Dir. Milos Foreman, 1999) The IMDb says of this Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman misfire - "numerous anachronisms can be chalked up to artistic decisions; the film intentionally plays fast and loose with the timeline." Well that's fine and all but seeing a 1982 Ms. PacMan video game machine in a scene set in 1977 really took me out of the movie. I can accept the narrative decision to have the famous Carnegie Hall "milk and cookies" concert (pictured on the left) occur after Kaufman was diagnosed with cancer and presented as his big farewell but when an early 70's scene references "President Jimmy Carter" - odd jarring misplacements like that do this formulaic biopic no favors.




2. The Lake Wissota reference in TITANIC (Dir. James Cameron, 1997) Self proclaimed "king of the world" Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) tells Rose (Kate Winslet) at their first meeting this little revealing tidbit - "once when I was a kid me and my father were ice-fishing out on Lake Wissota..." As five million websites will tell you, Lake Wissota is a man-made reservoir which wasn't created until five years after the Titanic sank. James Cameron apparently acknowledged this goof at one point but then proclaimed himself "KING OF THE WORLD!!!" Sorry, couldn't resist that. 



3. The '70s Hippies in '50s Vegas in THE GODFATHER (Dir. Francis Ford Coppola, 1972) Very briefly and through a window behind Michael (Al Pacino) when he and his party get out of their car at the entrance to Fredo's (John Casale) hotel you can see a couple of young men with long hair and 70's attire. Coppola on the DVD commentary chimes in: "this was one of those really cheap second unit shots we did...I was very embarrassed by this because of in the background you see there's like hippie-looking guys that are not correct for period." Well played, Coppola. You win this round.




4. Post-it notes in ALMOST FAMOUS (Dir. Cameron Crowe, 2000) Actually there is a plethora of anachronisms in this movie that takes place in the early 70's - Chem-Lite glow sticks at concerts, albums that weren't released yet (like the Stones' "Get Your Ya-Ya's Out" and Joni Mitchell's "Blue") given prominent screen-time in a scene set in 1969 (pictured above), and 90's Pepsi cans abound but damnit the post-it note deal just irks me. They weren't around until the 80's and it just seemed too cute to have teenage Rolling Stone journalist William (Patrick Fuggit) surrounded by them in a hotel bathroom. Seems like this is pretty indicative of the liberties with his own life Crowe was talking in this semi-autobiography.

5. ANOTHER 48 HOURS Billboard in THE DOORS (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1991) Since most of Stone's movies are set in the 60's and the 70's I could do a whole post about the inaccurate elements and out of place objects but I'll spare you that (for now). I'll just say that for all the work that went into the mood and tone of the era in this bombastic biopic of rock star/poet wannabe Jim Morrison (played by Val Kilmer) the visibility of a billboard for a 1990 movie is just plain stupid. Actually truth be told most of what's in THE DOORS, accurate or not, is just plain stupid.






6. 1965 Canadian Flag Maple Leaf Logo in the 1930's in THE UNTOUCHABLES (Dir. Brian DePalma, 1987) As the site Whoops! Movie Goofs & Mistakes reports "The Canadians probably laughed their asses off when Eliot Ness (Kevin Costner) made his first unsuccessful bust: The movie takes place in the 1930s and you can see boxes decorated with maple leaf logos. That logo was first seen 1965 when Canada introduced its flag." Yeah, well considering the reaction to DePalma's REDACTED these days, this 20 year old blunder should be the least of his worries. 



7. A Jet Crosses The Background of CLEOPATRA (Dir. Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1963) This I've never seen - it's listed as a "goof" on IMDb's entry for the film. Likewise in their entry for THE TEN COMMANDMENTS they state: "Anachronism - Moses on top of the large rock with a watch on." Without a recent viewings of these films I can only say that these seem like an urban myths. No other source online collaborates either - in fact most sites only list that a crowd member in THE TEN COMMANDMENTS appears to be wearing a watch but this is disputed as well. I guess, in a BIG FISH kind of way, I'm siding with the myth on this one because I don't see either making my Netflix queue anytime soon. 



8. '80s Geography imposed on 1936 Maps In RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (Dir. Steven Speilberg, 1981) In a nice almost comic book touch we are shown Indiana Jones's (Harrison Ford) plane routes with lines imposed on a screen filling map. Unfortunately it imposes the geography of the early 80's into a 30's world. Thailand, which was called Siam at the time, is seen as is Jordan which was known as Transjordan until 1949. There is also a globe in Indy's classroom that depicts various countries of Africa that didn't exist in 1936. Ah-ha! This undisputed action movie classic isn't historically accurate! Like anyone will care though - I mean even I admit this is nit-picking. Oh yeah, according to the IMDb "in 1936, no aircraft were able to travel such distances with having to stop for refueling." How about that nit I just picked? 



9. A Rent-A-Center In BOOGIE NIGHTS (Dir. Paul Thomas Anderson, 1997) Late in the film a "Rent-A-Center" is clearly visible in the background. Actually that's a pretty minor one - the film has lots of other anachronisms that are pretty forgivable and not really annoying but I wanted a excuse to bring up the brilliant BOOGIE NIGHTS and say I'm really looking forward to nit-picking Anderson's upcoming THERE WILL BE BLOOD for period piece mistakes so stay tuned.






10. Registered Pedophiles Weren't Required To Notify Neighbors In 1991 in THE BIG LEBOWSKI (Dir. Joel Coen, 1997) This one kind of hurts - the law wasn't implemented in California until 1996 so for one of the most memorable bit part roles in a Coen Bros. movie, John Turturro as Jesus Quintana was going through inaccurate actions when he went door to door informing his neighbors. I guess I can let it slide - it is one of the all time great movies. No amount of incorrect for the period cars or bowling balls can change that.

Whew! Well that's enough nit picking for now. I know there's a lot of annoying anachronisms I missed so you know where you can put them! In the comments below, of course. 




More later...

On-The-Air Amusement And Angst

After seeing the new movie TALK TO ME (reviewed below) I got to thinking about radio personalities in the movies. Sometimes they are disc jockeys, sometimes they have specialty call-in shows, sometimes they are rabble rousers - sometimes all three. Let's take a look at some of the most memorable motor mouths :

Barry Champlain (Eric Bogosian) in TALK RADIO (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1988) Champlain is the epitome of all three of the above. His station announcer introduces him as "the man you love to love" and he gets more death threats than phone-ins. Taking place almost completely around a radio console as Barry insults, cajoles, and just plain provokes callers TALK RADIO can best be considered a comic tragedy. It expands on the stage play (recently revived on Broadway) by giving us Barry's back-story showing his rise to be one of the top talk radio personalities in Dallas on the verge of national syndication. His fame though is running face to face with the mounting militia-based hatred of much of his audience. Barry's final break-down resulting in a mesmerizing monologue lays bare a pathetic self destructive unsalvageable soul but the announcer is right - over the years I've come to love to love the man whose signature sign-off line is "Sticks and stones can break your bones but words cause permanent damage."

Adrian Cronauer (Robin Williams) in GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM (Dir. Barry Levinson, 1987) Based on the real life experiences of a Armed Forces Radio Saigon disc jockey this role features Williams way before he became so annoyingly over-exposed and before his film formula became so, well, annoying. Dealing with uptight army officials (the late greats Bruno Kirby and J.T. Walsh) and ignoring army playlists and protocol Cronauer learns and grows mostly when he's not on the air but some maturity is shown on the mike before we reach the treacly but still affecting conclusion.

David "Dave" Garver (Clint Eastwood) in PLAY MISTY FOR ME (Dir. Eastwood, 1971) Eastwood's directorial debut with him as a soft spoken (I know, of course) disc jockey is really more of a thriller (the mold of which would be later used for FATAL ATTRACTION - 1987) than a radio-related story. Garver's most loyal fan (Jessica Walter) repeatedly makes the request of the title which is all good that is until she becomes a stalking murderous mad woman. Maybe it's because she fell overboard for Garver's smooth soothing tone. Maybe like Dylan, Eastwood should consider doing a XM satellite radio show - that is if he's not afraid of attracting new stalkers.

Leon Phelps (Tim Meadows) in THE LADIES MAN (Dir. Reginald Hudlin, 2000) Yeah! Another awful movie made from a running SNL sketch character at least has some radio-tested charm by way of Phelps's smarmy self intro :

"I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank."

Phelps is a Chicagoan host of a late night sex advice show who is always accompanied by a glass of Courvoisier and an unjustified arrogant romantic philosophy. He unwisely journeys out of the studio to hunt down an ex-lover. I think that was the plot, I mean really - who cares?

Jack Lucas (Jeff Bridges) in THE FISHER KING (Dir. Terry Gilliam, 1991) The role of the "shock jock" gets played here in a role that comes from the same cloth as TALK RADIO's Barry Champlain. The twist here is - what if the guy has a conscience? One of Lucas's random radio comments inadvertently causes a mad man to open fire in a bar and one of the patrons - history professor Parry (Robin Williams again) watches as his wife gets killed. Tossed out of the radio fame game Lucas meets a homeless deranged Parry years later. Lucas decides to help Parry which will in turn be his redemption. Lucas even has a radio catch-phrase that fits in with the movie's premise, the Steve Martinesque "hey, forgive me!"

Howard Stern (Howard Stern) in PRIVATE PARTS (Dir. Betty Thomas, 1997) Playing himself in his own biopic (based on his bestselling book) is not surprising considering the size of the ego of the self-proclaimed "king of all media" but come on, who else would or could do it? The best scenes here are the re-creations of Stern's infamous broadcasts and not the rom com trappings surrounding them. Much has changed for the man who popularized the term "shock jock" in the ten years since PRIVATE PARTS was released. Mainly the divorce from the woman that this film was a Valentine to and the gigantic $500 million Sirius Satellite deal that got him off regular radio make the meager goals of this movie seem quaint today. Funny how cute rather than cutting Stern seems when looking at this portrayal today - especially his naive reaction to Don Imus's (played by Luke Reilly - of course Imus wouldn't appear in this film) dismissal of him when they are first introduced.

Shirlee Kenyon (Dolly Parton) in STRAIGHT TALK (Dir. Barnet Kellman, 1992) Yep, it has been a sausage party in the booth so far so we gotta to acknowledge Dolly! Sure, it's a silly disposable comedy but it's Dolly! She brings her smirking spunk to play a woman who through a wacky mishap is mistaken for a certified psychologist and becomes a successful radio talk show host. It feels unfair to bash on this innocuous inanity especially when it has Dolly wrapping her Southern lips around such lines as "get down off the cross honey, somebody needs the wood!"

Okay! So now on to the current release about a real-life radio semi-legend :


TALK TO ME (Dir. Kasi Lemmons, 2007) Ex-con turned outspoken AM Disc Jockey Ralph Waldo Petey Greene is not a household name these days and this movie is probably going to do little to change that. In the age of Stern and Imus the labeling of a broadcaster as a "controversial radio personality" doesn't carry the cache it used to. Greene's (Don Cheadle with a raspy clipped voice) story taking place during the turbulent late 60's in Washington D.C. does have gusto and a strong sentiment but the formulaic biopic approach mars the third act. MLK's death, riots, and demonstrations are given about the same amount of depth as the historical background in DREAM GIRLS. To its credit Cheadle does his thing though in a decisively funkier manner than before, Chiwetel Ejiofor slickly plays the right notes as his producer, Martin Sheen takes a few satisfying solos as the uptight white station manager who is perpetually about to pull the plug on Greene, and Cedric The Entertainer is well, there. Greene's legacy will get a few more fans from this treatment as it is not without heart, it's just that its soul is that of a TV movie.

More later...

A Few New Reviews & Doing The Wright Thing

"I went to the video store and asked if they had the movie with Nicolas Cage and Hayley Mills. It was shot in black and white on color film. It was the one where they lost the war because they made all of the submarines out of styrofoam. Then I realized that wasn't a movie, it was a dream I had. Then I thought how cool it would be to rent your dreams. The guy says, "that's not a movie, that was a dream you had." I said, "how did you know that?" He said, "you tried to rent it last week. "I said, "well, let me know when you get it in.""
- Steven Wright

Thanks for everybody's comments and suggestions on my last post - 20 Great Modern Movie Cameos. I'm compiling the best reader's picks and will post them soon so please stay tuned. This time out a few movies now playing at a theater near you and new DVDs as well as a local live review of one of the greatest comedians (and sometime film actor) ever so please read on -


SWEET LAND (Dir. Ali Selim, 2005) This film has been around for a bit but only made its way to my local home town theater The Varsity this last week accompanied by the director who said this was his last stop on his publicity tour. Based on William Weaver's touching short story A Gravestone Made Of Wheat dealing with immigration issues and small town prejudices that delays the marriage of a German mail-order bride (Elizabeth Reaser) to a Norwegian immigrant farmer (Tim Guinee) in the days after World War I - SWEET LAND aims for a loving lyricism that for the most part it achieves. One of the only mis-steps are John Heard's Priest character who seems a bit off in tone to fully fit into the mechanics of this period piece - his "but I saw them dancing" dialogue feels a bit forced but Reaser is extremely beautiful (though her makeup is a bit much) and so is the Minnesota scenery. Remarking on the oft made comparisons to DAYS OF HEAVEN at the Q & A after the screening last friday night, director/writer Selim said "you can't shoot a field without people thinking you're referencing Terrence Mallick". Good point though for a first time film maker to be placed in such lofty company should make him as proud as he should be for this solid absorbing debut.

Also in theaters :

PARIS, JE T'AIME (Directed by 18 different directors including the Coen Bros, Alexander Payne, Wes Craven, Gus Van Sant, Tom Twyker, Alfonso Cuaron, and Isabel Coixet) In 1988 NEW YORK STORIES featured 3 short films made by master directors Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese, and Francis Ford Coppola that collectively formed a valentine to the grand city. Multiply that by 6 and add a bit of LOVE ACTUALLY change the locale to Paris and you've got PARIS, JE T'AIME (translates to Paris, I love you). Much like its predessesors it's a mixed bag but with nearly 20 movie makers how could it not be? At its effective best it's as good as movies can get particularly the Coen Brothers-Steve Buscemi as a tourist in a subway segment which is the best thing the Coens have done since THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE.

Other successful bits are "Place des fêtes" by Oliver Schmitz which has a dying man falling in love with his paramedic and Alexander Payne's gorgeous "14e arrondissement" also about a tourist enjoying a profound day sight seeing. Even the misfires are interesting - Sylvain Chomet's "Tour Eiffel" about mimes in love is too cutesy but it's breezy enough and "Quartier de la Madeleine" by Vincenzo Natali with Elijah Wood and Olga Kurylenko is only useful if you've ever wondered how vampires make out. The Maggie Gyllenhall and Natalie Portman portions are annoying but then maybe it's just them that's annoying - I can't decide.With it's amazing photography and ratio of good material over bad PARIS, JE T'AIME deserves to be seen in theaters though it will also be fun later to skip and choose the best bits from the DVD platter. It's the tastiest anthology film I've ever been served.

Just released on DVD -

THE GOOD GERMAN
(Dir. Steven Soderbergh, 2006) Shot in black and white with its white washed exterior shots and rear projection when driving scenes THE GOOD GERMAN achieves beautifully the exact aesthetic of a film shot in 1945 so much that you may forget it's a current release and think you are watching Turner Movie Classics. Its got the look down but unfortunately it doesn't feel authentic. Soderbergh regular George Clooney plays a journalist who arrives in Berlin just after World War II has ended but the shadows and treachery still linger. He finds out that his scheming motor pool driver (Tobey Maguire) has been seeing Clooney's former lover (Cate Blanchett)- a prostitute with a complicated dark background. Well if you've read my reviews you know I'm not one for detailed plot descriptions so that's all you'll get. Overlong and undercooked with a cast that is as stiff as Mount Rushmoore (with the exception of the overacting Maguire who is completely out of his depth here), this film adds nothing to the great noir genre and left me feeling afterwards like I saw a bad CASABLANCA cover band. I'm sure after they were finished with this sober straight faced old school exercise I bet Clooney and Soderbergh were dying to get trashed and party it up OCEAN'S style.

A write-up of a live performance by a comedian? Isn't this supposed to be a film blog? Well I think Mr. Wright's connection to the world of movies is pretty undeniable especially since he's won an Oscar damnit! (For the short film THE APPOINTMENTS OF DENNIS JENNINGS - 1988) So hush your bitchin' and let me babble on :

"When I was a little kid I wish the first word I ever said was the word 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'unquote.'"

STEVEN WRIGHT live at the Carolina Theater, Durham June 6th, 2007 - I've seen Steven Wright before - in 1985 at Memorial Hall here in Chapel Hill and it was one of the funniest performances of stand-up I've ever seen. With a load of new material and a reputation from years of movie appearances (see below) and TV guest shots Wright walked onstage to thunderous applause early this month. Although the audience was familliar with a lot of his act (a recent Comedy Central special and DVD release When The Leaves Blow Away documents the new stuff) just about every line killed and it was fascinating to see him experiment with some lines that were obviously works in progress. He did about an hour and 40 minutes never losing momentum and I believe he only used a handful of jokes he had done 22 years earlier (pretty sure "I got arrested for scalping low numbers at the deli" and the bit about Harry Houdini locking his keys in his car were repeated) but these one liners are like classic crowd pleasers so that's not really a criticism. He even played 2 songs on the guitar - one was introduced as a song he wrote when he was three years old - "the kittie's trying to kill me". So nice in these stupid celebrity obsessed times to have a non-topical apolitical clever crafty comedian still going strong and gaining new generations of fans. Can't wait to see him again in 2029!

Wright was considered for my Cameos post last time out but didn't make the list so I thought I'd take this occasion to pay tribute to the great man with this handy dandy list :

5 Great Wright Roles

1. NATURAL BORN KILLERS (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1994) Maybe the closest to a dramatic part as Wright's ever done, uh well no not really. Dr. Emil Reingold is pure Wright through and through. When told by Robert Downey Jr. - "Mallory Knox has said that she wants to kill you."He responds in a matter of fact manner - "I never really believe what women tell me."

2. HALF BAKED (Dir. Tamra Davis, 1998) Uncredited and only known as The Guy On The Couch Wright has very few lines - "is it January?" he asks at one point but everybody always remembers his part in this aptly named pot comedy. Well, at least all my stoner friends do.

3. CANADIAN BACON (Dir. Michael Moore, 1995) Quite possibly the only legitimately funny part of Moore's only non documentary flop comedy Wright appears at his laconic lucid finest as "RCMP Officer at Headquarters". Thinking that there's a war with Canada angry American invaders (John Candy, Kevin J. O'Connor, Bill Nunn) are further angered by Wright's Canadian tongue - "I don't know what you're talking aboot, eh?" Bill Nunn yells in Wright's face - "Aboot! It's ABOUT! And what's with this 'eh' business?!!?

4. COFFEE AND CIGARETTES (Dir. Jim Jarmusch, 2003) In the opening short film "Strange To Meet You" Wright meets Roberto Benigni for a cup of coffee and yes cigarettes. Fimed in 1986 the scene is relatively meaningless beyond its basic description but there is a palatable amusing sense of awkwardness when these guys styles mix - Benigni sure doesn't get Wright's caffeine popsicle bit. Credited as Steven he has one energetic moment - "I like to drink a lot of coffee right before I go to sleep, so I can dream faster." You can see the clip here.

5. SO I MARRIED AN AXE MURDERER (Dir. Thomas Schlamme, 1993) Another near lame movie saved from complete lame-ocity because of a Wright appearance. As a pilot of a small plane he scares the Hell out of passenger Mike Myers with his admission that he has never flown at night and when pointing at the instrument panel he says "that's the artificial horizon, which is better than the actual horizon."

Notable mention goes to his DJ voice-over in RESERVOIR DOGS, his take on the infamous naughty joke in THE ARISTOCRATS, and his film debut in 1984 as Larry Stillman D.D.S. in DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN (which was Madonna's film debut too by the way).

More later...

20 Great Modern Movie Cameos

Soldier (Fred Smith): "Well, what did you think of the play?"
Boris (Woody Allen): "Oh, it was weak. I was never interested. Although the part of the doctor was played with gusto and verve and the girl had a delightful cameo role." (LOVE AND DEATH, 1975) 

A cameo is defined as a "brief appearance of a known person in a work of the performing arts. Such a role needs not be filled by an actor: short appearances by film directors, politicians, athletes, and other celebrities are common" (Wikipedia, of course). 



As we all know sometimes one of the only good things in a particular film is a juicy unexpected cameo - not that all these were all unexpected, a number were highly publicised or widely rumoured way in advance. So many movies have cameos that it was very hard to pare down the best from all the multiple Ben Stiller, Austin Powers, and Zucker Bros. genre, but I settled for a nice smattering that doesn't deny those films their cameo cred but includes some overlooked surprise walk-on gems as well.



I decided to not include the many Hitchcock cameos or any other directors who often appear in their own films but made an exception (#18) when a director appeared in someone else's film. 



So don't go to the bathroom or blink 'cause you may miss them here goes the cameo countdown:

1. David Letterman in CABIN BOY (Dir. Adam Resnick, 1994) Director Resnick and former Letterman regular Chris Elliot's spotty yet not un-likable silly high seas saga featured the veteran late night host in his one movie role not playing himself as a stuffed- monkey peddler. As "Old Salt in Fishing Village" and credited as Earl Hofert, Letterman seemed to be enjoying himself as he badgered Elliot's fancy lad character - "Boy you're cute - what a sweet little outfit. Is that your little spring outfit? (laughs) you couldn't be cuter!"






2. Orson Welles in THE MUPPET MOVIE (Dir. James Frawley, 1979)



THE MUPPET MOVIE and all subsequent Muppet movies have been crammed with cameos (Steve Martin, Richard Pryor, Mel Brooks, John Cleese, Elliot Gould, Cloris Leachman, etc.) but Welles's appearance is a stone cold classic. Why? Because it introduced generation after generation to a true cinematic genius, at a low point in his career it briefly restored a sense of dignified power by casting him as studio head Lew Lord (based on mogul Lew Grade), and because nobody but nobody could give such an elegant reading to the line "prepare the standard 'Rich and Famous' contract for Kermit the Frog and Company." That's why.

3. David Bowie in ZOOLANDER

(Dir. Ben Stiller, 2001) All of Ben Stiller's movies have A-list cameos but Bowie is the only one who gets his own freeze frame flashy credit and a snippet of his hit "Let's Dance" to frame his intro when he steps out of the crowd to volunteer his services as judge for the crucial walk-off between Zoolander (Stiller) and his rival Hansel (Owen Wilson). With very little effort Bowie shows everyone in the room and in the audience what real screen presence is all about.



4. The Three Stooges in IT’S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD (Dir. Stanley Kramer, 1963)




Talk about very little effort! The famous slapstick trio only appear for 5 seconds as firemen at an airport. In a movie that may as way be called Cameo City they just stand there in the middle of the choas saying and doing nothing and are funnier and all the more memorable for it. IT'S A MAD MAD... practically invented the modern celebrity cameo - hence it making this so-called modern movies list.

5. Keith Richards in PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: AT WORLD'S END (Dir. Gore Verbinski, 2007) 

Definitely not a surprise cameo - Richards was supposed to be in PIRATES 2 but had Stones concert commitments so the word was out was beforehand. The joke of course is that because Johnny Depp modeled his Jack Sparrow character on the behavorial nuances of Richards it's apt to have the craggy decadent guitarist show up as Sparrow's father. It's predictable but pleasing how it goes down even if it is the cinematic equivalent of those Saturday Night Live sketches like "Janet Reno Dance Party" or "The Joe Pesci Show" where the real person walks on to stare down their imitator.

6. Martin Sheen in HOT SHOTS! PART DEUX (Dir. Jim Abrahams, 1992) In what may be the funniest cameo on this list Charlie Sheen takes a break from the Rambo-styled action to write his tortured memoirs complete with intense voice-over to parody his role in PLATOON. Suddenly another intense voice-over overlaps and we see his father Martin Sheen in army duds obviously parodying his role in APOCALYPSE NOW. As their riverboats pass they point at each other and say in unison - "I loved you in WALL STREET!" 



7. Roger Moore in CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER

(Dir. Blake Edwards, 1983)

Now, this may be the most ridiculous cameo here. Get this - Roger Moore (sorry, Sir Roger Moore) plays Inspector Clouseau after plastic surgery at the end of the second Panther movie made after Peter Sellers death. It doesn't matter that it doesn't fit at all into the continuity of the series - even at its best there have been character and narrative inconsistencies throughout - it's still a highlight. Moore does a passable Sellers impression and appears to be having a ball. For the first time in the almost 2 hours of this tedious unnecessary sequel we are too.

8. Shirley MacLaine in DEFENDING YOUR LIFE (Dir. Albert Brooks, 1991) When recently deceased yuppie Brooks has to go on trial for his existence it's only fitting that Shirley MacLaine would show up to spoof her reincarnation-obsessed image, isn't it? She nails it as the tour guide at the Afterlife Pavilion that Brooks and his date Meryl Streep attend.

9. Ethel Merman in AIRPLANE!

(Dirs. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, 1980) 



When seeing this movie as a kid and naturally thinking every single thing in it was a joke it was even funnier when a friend pointed out "that really was Ethel Merman". In a wartime hospital room flashback Ted Striker (Robert Hays) comments about one of his fellow wounded - "Lieutenant Hurwitz - severe shell-shock. Thinks he's Ethel Merman." Cut to : Merman bursting out of bed singing - "You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now. Honey, everything's comin' up roses..." As she (he?) is sedated by staff Striker remarks "war is Hell."




10. Rodney Dangerfield in NATURAL BORN KILLERS (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1994)

Presented as a flashback the surreal sitcom satire "I Love Mallory" serves as a commentary on the murderer's memories being corrupted by too much TV, but it's really a showcase for the most savage acting Dangerfield has ever done. As Mallory's (Juliette Lewis) abusive incestuous and just plain gruesome father Dangerfield steals the movie while repulsing us and there's an innocuous laugh track punctuating every line. The most perfectly unpleasant cameo here for sure.



11. Bruce Springsteen in HIGH FIDELITY (Dir. Stephen Frears, 2000) 

Like Keith Richards, Springsteen had never acted in a movie so it's pretty cool that the Boss would appear in a day dream of protagonist Rob Gordon (John Cusack). Plucking some notes on the gee-tar he inspires Rob to hunt down his ex-girlfriends. "Give that big final good luck and goodbye to your all time top-five and just move on down the road" Springsteen advises. Sigh - just like one of his songs.



12. Elvis Costello in SPICE WORLD (Dir. Bob Spiers, 1997) 

As a bartender and credited as 'Himself' Costello plays a nice tongue-in-cheek note as the Girls talk about their possible flash-in-the-pan prospects. It should also be mentioned that Costello also made cool cameo appearances in AMERICATHON, STRAIGHT TO HELL, 200 CIGARETTES, TALLADEGA NIGHTS, and AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME.




13. Gene Hackman in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (Dir. Mel Brooks, 1974) Great uncredited cameo in which Hackman plays a bearded blind man named Harold who gets a prayed for visit by Frankenstein's monster (Peter Boyle). Harold serves the monster soup, wine, and cigars but fails to teach him that "fire is good" prompting a sudden exit. Harold exclaims - "Wait! Where are you going....I was gonna make espresso!"



14. Marshall McLuhan in ANNIE HALL (Dir. Woody Allen, 1977)


The best example of one upmanship in a cameo that I can think of. At a theater in Manhattan (where else?) Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) is annoyed by the loud mouth pretensious rantings of the pseudo intellectual (Russell Horton) behind him and Annie Hall (Diane Keaton) in line. Alvy argues with the guy - "...and the funny thing is - Marshall McLuhan, you don't know anything about Marshall McLuhan." The guy responds "really? I happen to teach a class at Columbia called 'TV, media and culture' so I think my insights into Mr. McLuhan have a great deal of validity." Alvy then says "I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here" and presents him from offscreen. McLuhan eyes the guy and says "I've heard what you were saying. You know nothing of my work..." Alvy looks at the camera and says "boy, if life were only like this!"

15. Kurt Vonnegut in BACK TO SCHOOL (Dir. Alan Metter, 1986) Overage college student Rodney Dangerfield enlists Kurt Vonnegut to write his term paper on - yep, Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut shows up at Dangerfield's door and has only one line which is just introducing himself but for our purposes that's all he has to do. When Dangerfield's paper gets an F (teacher Sally Kellerman : "whoever did write it doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut") he curses the famous author over the phone and adds "next time I'll call Robert Ludlum!"





16. Jim Garrison in JFK (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1991) The definition of an ironic cameo. New Orleans District Attorney and controversial conspiracy theorist Garrison (who is portrayed by Kevin Costner in the film) does his only acting ever * as his chief rival Chief Justice Earl Warren. As the entire movie is an elaborate rebutal to the Warren Report's conclusions on the assassination and largely based on Garrison's book (On The Trail Of The Assassins) this is pretty juicy indeed. 



* Wait! I'm wrong - he did a cameo in THE BIG EASY (1987). My bad.



17. Stan Lee in MALLRATS (Dir. Kevin Smith, 1996) The Spiderman creator and Marvel Comics main-man has done cameos in many comics adapted or related movies (SPIDERMAN, THE HULK, X-MEN, FANTASTIC FOUR, etc.) but this one set the standard for the Stan Lee cameo. He plays himself so he's treated as a God by comic book collector geek Brodie (Jason Lee) and as such he rises above the base level humour even when saying lines like "he seems to be really hung up on super heroes' sex organs." 



18. Martin Scorsese – THE MUSE (Dir. Albert Brooks, 1999)
In a movie in which TITANIC director James Cameron also cameos and a number of Hollywood folk play themselves Marty sure has a nice bit - blabbing to struggling screenwriter Brooks - "I want to do a remake of RAGING BULL with a really thin guy. Not just thin, but REALLY thin. Thin and angry, thin and angry, thin and angry. Can you see it?" 



19. Spike Milligan in MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN (Dir. Terry Jones, 1979) Like the 3 Stooges this is a blink and you miss it cameo. While filming in Tunisia the Pythons found Milligan vacationing and got him to do a scene. For those of you readers who don't know Milligan - he was a huge influence on Python as a member of the Goon Show (which also featured Peter Sellers) and various other radio and TV programs. When the crowd following the reluctant Messiah Brian (Graham Chapman) flocks off into the hills, Milligan's character, named Spike in the credits, walks off shot not following them. He never was one to follow the latest trends.



20. Frank Sinatra in CANNONBALL RUN II (Dir. Hal Needham, 1984) 

Without a doubt the worst movie on the list but one that made it because it's the Chairman of the Board we're talking about here! I'm highly amused at this cameo 'cause it's so cheap and cheesy how it's done.

Roger Ebert described it best in his original '84 review:

"There isn't a single shot showing Sinatra and Reynolds at the same time. Also, there's something funny about Sinatra's voice: He doesn't seem to be quite matching the tone of the things said to him.



That's the final tip-off: Sinatra did his entire scene by sitting down at a desk and reading his lines into the camera, and then, on another day, Reynolds and the others looked into the camera and pretended to be looking at him. The over-the-shoulder shots are of a double. This is the movie equivalent to phoning it in."

- Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun Times Jan. 1, 1984)

Have a favorite cameo you thought should have made the list? Bob Saget in HALF BAKED? Howard Cosell in BANANAS? Alice Cooper in WAYNE'S WORLD? Tom Cruise, Gwenyth Paltrow, or Danny Devito in AUSIIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER? Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts, or Burt Reynolds in THE PLAYER * ? Tom Petty in THE POSTMAN?

* 



Robert Altman's THE PLAYER was left off the list despite (or maybe because) it being almost completely constructed around cameos by countless celebrities but for the record my favorite cameo in it is Buck Henry as himself pitching "THE GRADUATE PART II" to Tim Robbin's slimy studio exec character.

Send your cameo ommisions to:

boopbloop7@gmail.com 



More later...