The Real Napolean Dynamite *

* I would not usually put an asterick denotation in my blogpost headline but I felt this needed qualification - hit it Wikipedia from an entry on the movie of the same name: "The name "NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE" is a pseudonym used by Elvis Costello on the back of the album "Blood and Chocolate" (released 1986). Writer/Director Jared Hess has denied that this was his source for the name, once claiming that rather, the name came from an old Italian man he met in Chicago, and that the Elvis Costello connection is a coincidence."

Coincidence? As if!

So, last night I went to see Elvis Costello (real name Declann McManus) - who is one of my all time favorite performers - backed by the North Carolina Symphony at Regency Park Amphitheater in Cary. Elvis didn't even remember his last time to the area - he pronounced Raleigh - "Rally" (as in his song "Night Rally"). The show is reviewed below but first I thought it would be fun to look at his film work - such as his many onscreen appearances in what I call:

Costello Cameo Cavalcade!

Costello has done many bit parts in films and TV since the late 70's. His first was as Earl Manchester in AMERICATHON - a barely seen 1979 John Ritter comedy. Appearances followed in likewise obscure works like the British one seasoner sitcom Scully, as inept magician Rosco de Ville in the film NO SURRENDER (both by Alan Bleasdale), and rounding his '80's acting oeuvre out was a cameo as Hives the Butler in Alex Cox's (REPO MAN) odd thin-tie punk opus STRAIGHT TO HELL which had a bevy of cult musicians in small parts (Joe Strummer, Courtyney Love, members of the Pogues and Circle Jerks, etc.) These appearances were way under the radar mind you, Costello was heading towards the mainstream in the 90's starting with:

The Larry Sanders Show (HBO, 1992-1998) Garry Shandling's satirical talk-show within-a-show featured just about everybody in the business doing exaggerated versions of themselves and Costello was no exception. He appeared first in an episode in the third season - "People's Choice" (aired: 7/20/94). In one of his long time backing band's (the Attractions) last TV appearances, Costello performs "13 Steps Lead Down" complete with "Radio Radio" coda before storming out of the studio leaving a trashed dressing room behind in reaction to bad back stage treatment.

The next appearance in "Everybody Loves Larry" (aired: 11/13/96) - also titled "Duchovny's Crush - Hank's Lemon" - involves Elvis selling a supposed classic car to Sanders' co-host Hank (Jeffrey Tambor) which turns out to be a lemon - man, I love stating the obvious. While he performs a beautiful solo acoustic "Little Atoms" from "All This Useless Beauty", Hank dons glasses in a weak attempt to mock Costello.

SPICEWORLD (Dir. Bob Spiers, 1997) I've already written about this cameo before in the post "20 Great Modern Movie Cameos" - so I won't go on about it again.

AUSTIN POWERS : THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME (Dir. Jay Roach, 1999) Because of his vintage brand of swinging pop Burt Bacharach has appeared in all three AUSTIN POWERS movies tinkling the ivories in a downtime romantic setting. Since it coincided with Bacharach's collaboration with Costello "Painted From Memory" - it was expected that Elvis would show up to sing to Burt's accompaniment. Elvis said of the scene: "It's the 1960's, not to give away the plot, but in some sort of magical way we end up in the 1960's doing a song." (Late Night With Conan O'Brien 11/23/98) Austin Powers (Mike Myers) breaks that ole fourth wall by introducing Elvis and Burt as if they were his guests on a talk show and they do a smooth (mimed and lip synched of course) rendition of "I'll Never Fall In Love Again". Austin attempts to woo Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham) by way of Comical dancing as the song flows.

200 CIGARETTES (Dir. Risa Bramon Garcia, 1999) The soundtrack to this late '90's take on a 1981 New York New Year's Eve is filled with what they used to call New Wave (Blondie, Joe Jackson, Nick Lowe, Ramones, etc.) so of course Elvis would not only be heard with his definitive cover of Nick Lowe's "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding?" but also appears in a cameo as himself. After a night of mishaps and drunken revelry Janeane Garafolo wakes up to find Elvis's glasses and she realizes she slept with the man in question.

PRISON SONG (Dir. Darnell Martin, 2001) As big an Elvis Costello fan as I am I was not aware of this film until I began this post and am surprised that it has him playing 2 roles - Public Defender/Teacher. Again I'll defer to the mighty Wiki - "The film was originally intended to be a full-fledged musical, but this tested poorly with audiences, so most of the musical numbers - except the most essential to the story - were cut. This helps explain the mysterious appearance of Elvis Costello in two roles in which he does very little."

3rd Rock From The Sun (NBC 1996-2001) The final episode (aired: 5/22/01) of this beyond silly sci-fi sitcom starring John Lithgow had the family of aliens holding a farewell bash. They hire Elvis Costello who still in full crooner mode sings "Fly Me To The Moon". I guess this could confirms a lot of pop pundits belief that Costello is the punk rock Sinatra.

The Simpsons (1989-forever) Of course this would be mentioned here - I mean, have you met me? In the episode "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation" (aired: 11/10/2002) Homer goes to a Rock 'N Roll Fantasy Camp run by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards with Tom Petty, Lenny Kravitz, Brian Setzer and yep, our man McManus as instructors. When Costello tries to discourage the guitar as instrument of choice to the aggressive students, Homer storms his tent calling him "nerdlinger" and knocks off his glasses. Elvis exclaims "my image!"

Frasier (NBC Sitcom 1993-2004) Maybe a contender for the best Costello cameo - the man appears, not as himself for a nice change, as Ben - a coffee house folk guitarist with a heavy Scottish accent. Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) and his brother Niles (David Hyde Pierce) take immediate offence at Ben taking up performer residence at Cafe Nervosa in the episode "Farewell, Nervosa" (aired: 4/22/03). Costello is hilarious as he performs exaggerated amped up versions of "Wild Rover","Tie Me Kangeroo Down", and especially when he announces that he's selling CDs (not his own recordings - mind you) outside during a break in his performance - "10 dollars is still the best price for 'Quadrophenia'!"

DE-LOVELY (Dir. Irwin Winkler, 2004) Credited as "musical performer" Costello appears back in crooner mode on stage at a costume party singing "Let's Misbehave" in this somewhat surreal Cole Porter bio-pic. Though he's given a few close-ups, Costello is mostly seen in long shots or heard in the background as Porter (Kevin Kline) and his wife Linda (Ashley Judd) have a plot-point moment.

TALLADEGA NIGHTS : THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY (Dir. Adam McKay, 2006) From reports he filmed this cameo in one day and it shows - he didn't have any actual lines of dialogue. There were just shots of him having tea with Mos Def at Will Ferrell's title character's rival driver Jean Girard's (Sacha Baron Cohen) mansion. Too many Costello songs to fully note have been in movies over the years but HIGH FIDELITY (Dir. Stephen Frears, 1999) must be singled out because it was named after a Costello song (see also LESS THAN ZERO AND CLUBLAND) and it had "Shipbuilding" featured on its motion picture soundtrack. Now on to the show:

Elvis Costello and the North Carolina Symphony @ Booth Amphitheatre, Cary, North Carolina Sept. 13th, 2007

"Me doing a romantic song is like Steve Buscemi playing the George Clooney role in a movie."
- Elvis Costello introducing "She" 9/13/07

The best concert I've ever seen was Elvis Costello and the Attractions on the "Brutal Youth" tour in Raleigh on June 19th, 1994. I was a casual fan up to that point but witnessing the man's vocal range and attention to melodic detail made me a hardcore fan. Since then I've collected his many discs and absorbed his many styles but always preferred the rocking stuff. Well the prospect of Costello singing with an orchestra might have raised my eyebrows at first but there was still the possibility that the man under any circumstance could still rock.

Rock he did - viciously strumming an acoustic guitar he and longtime Attraction/Imposter cohort pianist Steve Nieve offered up a number of Costello classics ("Accidents Will Happen", "Green Shirt", "Veronica") that pleased the audience but the real focus of the evening was the embellished arrangements of the more challenging genre exercises of his canon. "Watching the Detectives" was given a complete workout with mighty percussion and sax involvement and the obvious but still vital "Alison" had a significant rephrasing and affecting as Hell addition of Smokey Robinson's "Tracks of My Tears" added in its coda.

Costello bantered with the audience in a casual and amusing manner even when mentioning "the war" - he brought that up when introducing his Oscar nominated (for COLD MOUNTAIN) song co-written with Allison Krause "Scarlet Tide" and of course when performing Nick Lowe's immortal "What's So Funny 'Bout Peace Love and Understanding". A song that I stupidly didn't even anticipate - the gorgeous Chet Baker arranged "Shipbuilding" fit the agenda beautifully as well. I know I'm not alone in my rocking preference - when Costello mentioned his album with the Brodsky Quartet - "The Juliet Letters" he got scant applause but a mere reference to his co-writing a song with Paul McCartney got people to roar. The bottom line whatever the genre, arrangement, or setting is - the man can seriously sing. You have to see him perform live to fully appreciate that I believe because the man's pipes can't be contained on a CD or in your iPod's earphones. So yeah, when it comes down to it - the man rocked.

Postnote - for a complete setlist of the show go here.

Okay! Thanks for indulging me for my birthday week pop music in the movies postings. Next time out - actual recent movies in theaters and on DVD. Stay tuned.

More later...

20 Great Modern Movie Cameos

Soldier (Fred Smith): "Well, what did you think of the play?"
Boris (Woody Allen): "Oh, it was weak. I was never interested. Although the part of the doctor was played with gusto and verve and the girl had a delightful cameo role." (LOVE AND DEATH, 1975) 

A cameo is defined as a "brief appearance of a known person in a work of the performing arts. Such a role needs not be filled by an actor: short appearances by film directors, politicians, athletes, and other celebrities are common" (Wikipedia, of course). 



As we all know sometimes one of the only good things in a particular film is a juicy unexpected cameo - not that all these were all unexpected, a number were highly publicised or widely rumoured way in advance. So many movies have cameos that it was very hard to pare down the best from all the multiple Ben Stiller, Austin Powers, and Zucker Bros. genre, but I settled for a nice smattering that doesn't deny those films their cameo cred but includes some overlooked surprise walk-on gems as well.



I decided to not include the many Hitchcock cameos or any other directors who often appear in their own films but made an exception (#18) when a director appeared in someone else's film. 



So don't go to the bathroom or blink 'cause you may miss them here goes the cameo countdown:

1. David Letterman in CABIN BOY (Dir. Adam Resnick, 1994) Director Resnick and former Letterman regular Chris Elliot's spotty yet not un-likable silly high seas saga featured the veteran late night host in his one movie role not playing himself as a stuffed- monkey peddler. As "Old Salt in Fishing Village" and credited as Earl Hofert, Letterman seemed to be enjoying himself as he badgered Elliot's fancy lad character - "Boy you're cute - what a sweet little outfit. Is that your little spring outfit? (laughs) you couldn't be cuter!"






2. Orson Welles in THE MUPPET MOVIE (Dir. James Frawley, 1979)



THE MUPPET MOVIE and all subsequent Muppet movies have been crammed with cameos (Steve Martin, Richard Pryor, Mel Brooks, John Cleese, Elliot Gould, Cloris Leachman, etc.) but Welles's appearance is a stone cold classic. Why? Because it introduced generation after generation to a true cinematic genius, at a low point in his career it briefly restored a sense of dignified power by casting him as studio head Lew Lord (based on mogul Lew Grade), and because nobody but nobody could give such an elegant reading to the line "prepare the standard 'Rich and Famous' contract for Kermit the Frog and Company." That's why.

3. David Bowie in ZOOLANDER

(Dir. Ben Stiller, 2001) All of Ben Stiller's movies have A-list cameos but Bowie is the only one who gets his own freeze frame flashy credit and a snippet of his hit "Let's Dance" to frame his intro when he steps out of the crowd to volunteer his services as judge for the crucial walk-off between Zoolander (Stiller) and his rival Hansel (Owen Wilson). With very little effort Bowie shows everyone in the room and in the audience what real screen presence is all about.



4. The Three Stooges in IT’S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD (Dir. Stanley Kramer, 1963)




Talk about very little effort! The famous slapstick trio only appear for 5 seconds as firemen at an airport. In a movie that may as way be called Cameo City they just stand there in the middle of the choas saying and doing nothing and are funnier and all the more memorable for it. IT'S A MAD MAD... practically invented the modern celebrity cameo - hence it making this so-called modern movies list.

5. Keith Richards in PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN: AT WORLD'S END (Dir. Gore Verbinski, 2007) 

Definitely not a surprise cameo - Richards was supposed to be in PIRATES 2 but had Stones concert commitments so the word was out was beforehand. The joke of course is that because Johnny Depp modeled his Jack Sparrow character on the behavorial nuances of Richards it's apt to have the craggy decadent guitarist show up as Sparrow's father. It's predictable but pleasing how it goes down even if it is the cinematic equivalent of those Saturday Night Live sketches like "Janet Reno Dance Party" or "The Joe Pesci Show" where the real person walks on to stare down their imitator.

6. Martin Sheen in HOT SHOTS! PART DEUX (Dir. Jim Abrahams, 1992) In what may be the funniest cameo on this list Charlie Sheen takes a break from the Rambo-styled action to write his tortured memoirs complete with intense voice-over to parody his role in PLATOON. Suddenly another intense voice-over overlaps and we see his father Martin Sheen in army duds obviously parodying his role in APOCALYPSE NOW. As their riverboats pass they point at each other and say in unison - "I loved you in WALL STREET!" 



7. Roger Moore in CURSE OF THE PINK PANTHER

(Dir. Blake Edwards, 1983)

Now, this may be the most ridiculous cameo here. Get this - Roger Moore (sorry, Sir Roger Moore) plays Inspector Clouseau after plastic surgery at the end of the second Panther movie made after Peter Sellers death. It doesn't matter that it doesn't fit at all into the continuity of the series - even at its best there have been character and narrative inconsistencies throughout - it's still a highlight. Moore does a passable Sellers impression and appears to be having a ball. For the first time in the almost 2 hours of this tedious unnecessary sequel we are too.

8. Shirley MacLaine in DEFENDING YOUR LIFE (Dir. Albert Brooks, 1991) When recently deceased yuppie Brooks has to go on trial for his existence it's only fitting that Shirley MacLaine would show up to spoof her reincarnation-obsessed image, isn't it? She nails it as the tour guide at the Afterlife Pavilion that Brooks and his date Meryl Streep attend.

9. Ethel Merman in AIRPLANE!

(Dirs. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, 1980) 



When seeing this movie as a kid and naturally thinking every single thing in it was a joke it was even funnier when a friend pointed out "that really was Ethel Merman". In a wartime hospital room flashback Ted Striker (Robert Hays) comments about one of his fellow wounded - "Lieutenant Hurwitz - severe shell-shock. Thinks he's Ethel Merman." Cut to : Merman bursting out of bed singing - "You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now. Honey, everything's comin' up roses..." As she (he?) is sedated by staff Striker remarks "war is Hell."




10. Rodney Dangerfield in NATURAL BORN KILLERS (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1994)

Presented as a flashback the surreal sitcom satire "I Love Mallory" serves as a commentary on the murderer's memories being corrupted by too much TV, but it's really a showcase for the most savage acting Dangerfield has ever done. As Mallory's (Juliette Lewis) abusive incestuous and just plain gruesome father Dangerfield steals the movie while repulsing us and there's an innocuous laugh track punctuating every line. The most perfectly unpleasant cameo here for sure.



11. Bruce Springsteen in HIGH FIDELITY (Dir. Stephen Frears, 2000) 

Like Keith Richards, Springsteen had never acted in a movie so it's pretty cool that the Boss would appear in a day dream of protagonist Rob Gordon (John Cusack). Plucking some notes on the gee-tar he inspires Rob to hunt down his ex-girlfriends. "Give that big final good luck and goodbye to your all time top-five and just move on down the road" Springsteen advises. Sigh - just like one of his songs.



12. Elvis Costello in SPICE WORLD (Dir. Bob Spiers, 1997) 

As a bartender and credited as 'Himself' Costello plays a nice tongue-in-cheek note as the Girls talk about their possible flash-in-the-pan prospects. It should also be mentioned that Costello also made cool cameo appearances in AMERICATHON, STRAIGHT TO HELL, 200 CIGARETTES, TALLADEGA NIGHTS, and AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME.




13. Gene Hackman in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (Dir. Mel Brooks, 1974) Great uncredited cameo in which Hackman plays a bearded blind man named Harold who gets a prayed for visit by Frankenstein's monster (Peter Boyle). Harold serves the monster soup, wine, and cigars but fails to teach him that "fire is good" prompting a sudden exit. Harold exclaims - "Wait! Where are you going....I was gonna make espresso!"



14. Marshall McLuhan in ANNIE HALL (Dir. Woody Allen, 1977)


The best example of one upmanship in a cameo that I can think of. At a theater in Manhattan (where else?) Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) is annoyed by the loud mouth pretensious rantings of the pseudo intellectual (Russell Horton) behind him and Annie Hall (Diane Keaton) in line. Alvy argues with the guy - "...and the funny thing is - Marshall McLuhan, you don't know anything about Marshall McLuhan." The guy responds "really? I happen to teach a class at Columbia called 'TV, media and culture' so I think my insights into Mr. McLuhan have a great deal of validity." Alvy then says "I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here" and presents him from offscreen. McLuhan eyes the guy and says "I've heard what you were saying. You know nothing of my work..." Alvy looks at the camera and says "boy, if life were only like this!"

15. Kurt Vonnegut in BACK TO SCHOOL (Dir. Alan Metter, 1986) Overage college student Rodney Dangerfield enlists Kurt Vonnegut to write his term paper on - yep, Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut shows up at Dangerfield's door and has only one line which is just introducing himself but for our purposes that's all he has to do. When Dangerfield's paper gets an F (teacher Sally Kellerman : "whoever did write it doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut") he curses the famous author over the phone and adds "next time I'll call Robert Ludlum!"





16. Jim Garrison in JFK (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1991) The definition of an ironic cameo. New Orleans District Attorney and controversial conspiracy theorist Garrison (who is portrayed by Kevin Costner in the film) does his only acting ever * as his chief rival Chief Justice Earl Warren. As the entire movie is an elaborate rebutal to the Warren Report's conclusions on the assassination and largely based on Garrison's book (On The Trail Of The Assassins) this is pretty juicy indeed. 



* Wait! I'm wrong - he did a cameo in THE BIG EASY (1987). My bad.



17. Stan Lee in MALLRATS (Dir. Kevin Smith, 1996) The Spiderman creator and Marvel Comics main-man has done cameos in many comics adapted or related movies (SPIDERMAN, THE HULK, X-MEN, FANTASTIC FOUR, etc.) but this one set the standard for the Stan Lee cameo. He plays himself so he's treated as a God by comic book collector geek Brodie (Jason Lee) and as such he rises above the base level humour even when saying lines like "he seems to be really hung up on super heroes' sex organs." 



18. Martin Scorsese – THE MUSE (Dir. Albert Brooks, 1999)
In a movie in which TITANIC director James Cameron also cameos and a number of Hollywood folk play themselves Marty sure has a nice bit - blabbing to struggling screenwriter Brooks - "I want to do a remake of RAGING BULL with a really thin guy. Not just thin, but REALLY thin. Thin and angry, thin and angry, thin and angry. Can you see it?" 



19. Spike Milligan in MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN (Dir. Terry Jones, 1979) Like the 3 Stooges this is a blink and you miss it cameo. While filming in Tunisia the Pythons found Milligan vacationing and got him to do a scene. For those of you readers who don't know Milligan - he was a huge influence on Python as a member of the Goon Show (which also featured Peter Sellers) and various other radio and TV programs. When the crowd following the reluctant Messiah Brian (Graham Chapman) flocks off into the hills, Milligan's character, named Spike in the credits, walks off shot not following them. He never was one to follow the latest trends.



20. Frank Sinatra in CANNONBALL RUN II (Dir. Hal Needham, 1984) 

Without a doubt the worst movie on the list but one that made it because it's the Chairman of the Board we're talking about here! I'm highly amused at this cameo 'cause it's so cheap and cheesy how it's done.

Roger Ebert described it best in his original '84 review:

"There isn't a single shot showing Sinatra and Reynolds at the same time. Also, there's something funny about Sinatra's voice: He doesn't seem to be quite matching the tone of the things said to him.



That's the final tip-off: Sinatra did his entire scene by sitting down at a desk and reading his lines into the camera, and then, on another day, Reynolds and the others looked into the camera and pretended to be looking at him. The over-the-shoulder shots are of a double. This is the movie equivalent to phoning it in."

- Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun Times Jan. 1, 1984)

Have a favorite cameo you thought should have made the list? Bob Saget in HALF BAKED? Howard Cosell in BANANAS? Alice Cooper in WAYNE'S WORLD? Tom Cruise, Gwenyth Paltrow, or Danny Devito in AUSIIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER? Bruce Willis, Julia Roberts, or Burt Reynolds in THE PLAYER * ? Tom Petty in THE POSTMAN?

* 



Robert Altman's THE PLAYER was left off the list despite (or maybe because) it being almost completely constructed around cameos by countless celebrities but for the record my favorite cameo in it is Buck Henry as himself pitching "THE GRADUATE PART II" to Tim Robbin's slimy studio exec character.

Send your cameo ommisions to:

boopbloop7@gmail.com 



More later...

Let Them All Talk

Last night my brother and I were watching the new DVD - THE RIGHT SPECTACLE - THE VERY BEST OF ELVIS COSTELLO - THE VIDEOS (sorry - no IMDB link yet) and discovered that it has subtitles for Elvis's commentary track and not for the song lyrics in the videos. I thought that was odd at first but it seemed preferable to watch the videos with the subtitles on but Costello's voice commentary track off so the music wasn't obscured. It reminded me of that VH1 show - Pop Up Videos. My brother Dave said it was like what geeks at conferences call the backchannel - people attending a public event with laptops, meet in a chatroom to talk about the presentation/talk or whatever possibly ragging on the speaker/band/whatever. Sometimes, not often, the backchannel chatroom is displayed on big screen for all to see. He concluded by saying that commentaries are kinda like a backchannel, but later after the fact. This got me to thinking about commentaries. That and listening to the delightfully pretentious commentary on the DVD of Igmar's Bergman's 1967 classic PERSONA by Bergman historian Marc Gervais ("oh my goodness, personality disintegration!"). A lot of people never turn on the commentary track - indeed many directors, actors, and other participants can be heard saying "do people really listen to these things?" Well after getting a number of emails from film babble blog readers who said they were offended by my calling listening to commentaries "an extremely geeky process" in my August 28th post I see that many do actually listen to these things and I decided to pay tribute by listing :

10 Great DVD Commentaries

This is by no means a 'best commentaries ever' deal. I haven't listened to enough to judge that - I just enjoyed the Hell out of those below. Some great movies have bad commentaries I must say - GOODFELLAS has a track patched together from interview soundbites (to be fair the other track has the real Henry Hill with his actual arresting officer and that's actually pretty cool), THE PLAYER has a verbal tug-of-war between director Robert Altman and writer Michael Tolkin, and Quentin Tarantino can't seem to give commentary to save his life! Plodding through anecdotes unrelated to the action on the screen, Tarantino offers very few insights into RESERVOIR DOGS except to why his other films on DVD are commentary-less.

The best commentaries make it feel like you're hanging with the directors, actors, crew members or critics watching the movie while absorbing conversationally juicy back stories. Here's my 10 favorites:

1. CITIZEN KANE (Dir. Orson Welles 1941)

Yes, you should be skeptical of any movie list that begins with this movie but damn it this DVD has good fuckin' commentary! Whatever you may think of Roger Ebert, his spirited narration is surprisingly a lot of fun while being informative as Hell. Ebert offers that "oddly enough because it broke with all the traditions of editing and photography up until that time many audiences found that it looked anything but realistic. They were put off by the deep-focus photography, the use of long takes, the lack of cutting in order to tell the story, and the relying on movement within a scene" and that because of that "you have to be an active viewer when you look at CITIZEN KANE - it challenges you". Director and Welles friend Peter Bogdonovich presents a more scholarly and insiderly take on the film, while not as entertaining as Ebert's, is still worthwhile.

2. THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE (Dir. Joel Coen 2001) Just a few Coen Brothers movies have commentaries (BLOOD SIMPLE has Kenneth Loring of Forever Films delivering an odd play-by-play, while director of photography Roger A. Deakins does FARGO) but this track with Joel and Ethan Coen chatting it up with Billy Bob Thornton is absolutely hilarious. Notable because the movie alone is anything but hilarious. Discussing the stoical mannerisms of his barber character Thornton says "I know we're doing a DVD commentary but it's hard not to laugh about Ed Crane. Joel, Ethan, and I have a sort of weird relationship with Ed Crane. He's become this guy to us that just exists in our lives." He goes on to point out the "Ed nod" - Thornton: "Ed would always just accept the most horrible things with a tiny little nod." Joel remarks that the nod is "the biggest outward manifestation of Ed's personality." So as the movie goes on charting the "Ed nod" almost becomes a game - "here comes a classic Ed nod". Also amusing is when over a shot of Thornton sitting listening to Scarlett Johansson playing the piano, he asks "you notice something? Ed has a boner!" They all giggle. A lot of laughter for a dark morbid film noir piece from the Coens - seems oddly appropriate doesn't it?

3. MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (Dir. Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, 1975)

2 audio tracks split between the directors (Gilliam, Jones) and the performers /writers (John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin) all the currently existing Pythons enhance this comedy classic with wonderfully amusing tales about where jokes originated, the hassles of cheap location shooting, and the contagious laughing at material that amazes them as well as us that it never gets old. Some random quotes -

Gilliam: "in England blood is called Kensington gore". (a simple google search confirms that this is indeed theatre slang about stage blood).

Palin: "Llamas - another Python favorite like moose, Nixon and fish of any kind".

Idle: "Michael Palin clearly had a very bad agent because he gets no close-ups whatsoever in this scene."

4. THE WAR OF THE ROSES (Dir. Danny Devito, 1989) You may scoff at this appearing on this list - but this being one of the first commentaries ever (recorded for an early 90's laser disc release if I'm not mistaken) Devito made the most of the warts-and-all approach for an essential listen. Consider how he starts off : "In 1933 this famous fox logo theme was written by Alfred Newman. In 1990 Alfred's son David Newman re-recorded it for WAR OF THE ROSES enabling it to have the final note of the theme segue into the overture of our film." Very few commentaries begin with that sense of purpose. It also seems appropriate that this Michael Douglas/Kathleen Turner dark marital disaster comedy is decorated by occasional Devito self-criticisms : "boy, do I look fat - look at me!"

5. JFK (Dir. Oliver Stone, 1991) The grand-daddy of all conspiracy films gets a passionate paranoid Stone audio guide that goes through its whole damn exhausting 3 hour + run. Theories on top of the theories in the movie abound : "If for example the hit had taken place in Miami it is quite possible what I'm trying to say that there was an Oswald that could of has a Miami identity in the same way that Oswald had a New Orleans and Dallas identity. They have people who have patsys ready to go." I'll take your word for it Oliver. Also you hear career defining statements like : "I don't care what they say, this is my GODFATHER! As far as I'm concerned NIXON is GODFATHER II for me and this is my GODFATHER I. I feel good about it even if nobody agrees."

The often un-remarked upon sentiment in JFK comes out best when Stone recalls that he wrote much of his own life strife with his soon to be ex-wife into the arguments that protagonist Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner) and his wife Liz (Sissy Spacek) had over how JFK assassination obsession had come between them. After Liz has stormed off, Jim escorts his kids (Sean Stone, Amy Long) out the front door and onto the front porch swing comforting them by saying that telling the truth can be a scary thing. Stone chimes in : "It's my Norman Rockwell scene, so leave it alone! Everyone has a right to their Norman Rockwell moment."

6. ELECTION (Dir. Alexander Payne, 1999) Payne gives good commentary. This is interesting from start to finish - the comparisons to the original novel, the pointing out of the "obsessive use of garbage cans", and most surprisingly his admitting when talking about Matthew Broderick - "his casting has for a lot of people played with his image, almost his iconography as Ferris Bueller, but not for me because I've never seen the film (FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF)." Another great commentary moment comes when Reese Witherspoon is setting up a table in the High School lobby by extending the legs one by one - "Tracy is introduced with straight lines - the chair legs. Careful viewers may want to go back and count how many chair legs." He says chair but it is definitely a table she's setting up and there are 5 separate shots of individual legs being extended - on a 4 leg table. Oh Alexander, you wacky cinematic prankster!

7. The Simpsons (1989-1996 Seasons 1-6)

I figured one TV show DVD set ought to make this list and while such worthy shows as The Sopranos, Mr. Show, Six Feet Under, and even Newsradio have fine commentaries - the chaos, the camaraderie, and fly-on-the-wall fun Simpsons commentaries contain blow them all away. Usually populated by series creator Matt Groening along with writers, producers, show-runners, voice-actors, and other relevant parties they come packed with statements like:

Jon Vitti: "You guys were very specific that we shouldn't come up with clever original tag-lines for Bart Simpson - they were supposed to be things he had heard from TV and repeated and then when the show got so popular it somehow seemed as if we were claiming these were original sayings. So I'd like to say that at the outset we never thought 'eat my shorts' was an original tag-line."
James L. Brooks: "I thought we weren't going to do mea culpas!"

A early classic - Bart Gets Hit By A Car - epitomizes how the show's themes have changed drastically from the financial pressured world the Simpsons used to live in as opposed to the pop culture parody social satire status of recent years. Marge blows a huge cash settlement and Homer goes into a dark funk. Confronted by his wife at Moe's Tavern Homer even says that he may not love her anymore. A dramatic moment is finally punctuated by his declaration: "Oh who am I kidding? I love you more than ever!" Mike Reiss (I think) responds "the writers being very offended including John Swartzwelder who wrote the episode saying 'why does he love her more than ever? We're happy to see it, ah - life goes on but why does he love her more than ever?"

But the cream of the commentary crop is "Marge Vs. The Monorail" from the 4th season - mainly because it was written by Conan O'Brien who contributes (albeit on satellite from New York while Groening and the other participants are in LA) a consistently funny commentary:

Conan: "I am the author of this episode. I created the character of Bart."

The stories about the conception of the episode get increasingly more amusing as the show progresses:

Conan O'Brien: "Originally when I wrote the episode the guest star was supposed to be George Takei (Sulu) from Star Trek. We contacted George Takei, just certain he would do it 'cause this was after Michael Jackson...I mean everybody was killing themselves to be on the Simpsons. We contacted George Takei and he told us he wouldn't do it because he was on the San Francisco Board of Transportation and he didn't want to make fun of monorails. We were just stunned and I was heatbroken. Then I came into work and Al said 'hey, we just got a phone call and George Takei and he won't do it but Leonard Nimoy will' - I remember thinking that's better!"

It sure was, Conan It sure was.

8. AIRPLANE! (Dir. Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker, 1980) This is a particularly funny commentary because after describing how much of the film was based narratively and shot-wise on the 1957 airport disaster movie ZERO HOUR and making fun of the cheap production values - "you can see tape holding the set together there!" - the directors (the Zucker bros. and Abrahams) run out of things to talk about and even start discussing other movies - "I saw GALAXY QUEST yesterday." Also notably towards the end of the flick they all state that they made a pact to never see AIRPLANE II - THE SEQUEL which was made by others. Wish I had made that decision.*

9. BOOGIE NIGHTS (Dir. Paul Thomas Anderson, 1997) Paul Thomas Anderson opens before the movie has properly begun with "Hey roll it - 'cause I'll tell you, you're listening to a guy who learned a lot about ripping off movies by watching laser discs with director's commentary. My favorite is John Sturge's BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK." Man, I'll have to check that one out. Interestingly enough after acknowledging the influence of Scorsese over the first scene with the long tracking nightclub shot Anderson declares that Jonathan Demme is his "most profound influence". There's a separate track with Anderson and various actors (Mark Wahlberg, Julliane Moore, John C. Reily, Melora Walters, Don Cheadle) recorded at diferent times - at Anderson's apartment with phones ringing, lighters flicking, and a lot of alcohol being consumed. While I don't usually like commentaries that are hodgepodges of different recordings - this one works because of actors comfortably speaking over their specific scenes relaying that apparently everyone enjoyed their wardrobe fittings as much as the actual shooting and the constant questioning by P.T. Anderson of the cast "was Luis Guzman stoned during filming?"

10. THIS IS SPINAL TAP (Dir. Rob Reiner, 1984)

Just to get it straight there are 2 different DVDs of this movie with notably different commentaries. How notably different? Well I'll tell ya - the CRITERION (1998) version (you know the company that does high-brow deluxe DVD editions of classic cult movies) has a commentary by Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer as well as a separate track by Rob Reiner with producer Karen Murphy and a few editors. The MGM special edition (2000) has a commentary by Spinal Tap (that is Guest, McKean, and Shearer in character). Since the Criterion one is out of print and copies of it go for $85.00 and over on Amazon we'll just concern ourselves with the MGM version.

Approaching the film with the oft-repeated "hatchet-job" accusation on its maker Marti DiBergi (Rob Reiner) - Nigel Tufnel, David St. Hubbins, and Derek Smalls (c'mon play along) have a lot of axes to grind 16 years later. On their first interview session in the film:

Nigel: "you know when he was asking us these questions you you remember we didn't know what he was going to say...
Derek: "and he had notes!"
Nigel: "yes, he had notes."
David: "That's not fair. That should have tipped us off."
Derek: "It's cheating! He had an agenda."

On David's current stance on his astrologically guided controlling girlfriend Janeane who shows up mid-way in the tour - "a turning point" says Derek:

David: When the millenium changed so did she."

On Derek being trapped in the stage pod which sabotaged the number "Rock 'N Roll Creation":

Derek: "This only happened once - why doesn't he (DiBergi) show any of the other nights?!!?"

When band manager Ian Faith and Nigel leave because of tension within the group, horribly mangled gig scheduling, and Janeane's ambitious infiltration David has this to offer about his girlfriend's managerial style when she took over from Ian:

David: "Things went more profressionally wrong."

In the final segment at one of the last shows on the tour Nigel returns to tell them that "Sex Farm" is a hit in Japan and would they consider regrouping. After some harsh words the band leaves with David and Nigel sharing a silent stare at each other. In the now reflective commentary which also is silent for a moment, St. Hubbins breaks the mood:

David: "You had me at hello". *

Post Note: The Zucker bros. and Jim Abrahams commentary for their follow-up to AIRPLANE! - the Elvis meets World War II spy thriller satire TOP SECRET! plays like the Onion's "Commentaries Of The Damned" - you know the AV Club's feature about less than worthy films adorned with inappropriate commentaries. For TOP SECRET! the filmmakers/writers complain about the movie never making a profit, how the slow pace ruins the jokes, and most amusingly they forget why they originally thought certain material was funny - a theater marquee for the film's protagonist Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer) says beneath his name "with time permitting - Frank Sinatra". "Why did we pick on Sinatra?" one of the Zuckers (I think) wonders out loud. Good question.

More later...