"Yippie-kye-ay, Mister Falcon!" And Other EDITED FOR TV favorites

"This town is like a great big chicken just waitin' to get plucked.”
- Tony Montana (Al Pacino) from the edited for television edit of SCARFACE (1983) * (If you need to know the original line email the address below)



Usually I avoid when movies are shown on broadcast television because they're edited-for-time full-screen versions - I mean it's almost like they don't count. But sometimes when I come upon a movie I like when changing channels I've found they are sometimes worth watching for the re-dubbing of profane lines.




SCARFACE above, and THE EXORCIST are famous for their creative hilarious for-all-audiences re-toolings. Not content to just use 'freak' or 'freaking' the censors picked every other f-word (frozen, fruitful, foolish, etc.) in the dictionary to cover all the 'fucks' in a recent airing of FARGO. It's quite a different movie when you see Steve Buscemi yelling "you foolish people!" after being shot in the face you know?

These are some other funny examples:



THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

Original line : "You see what happens Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass?"
- Walter (John Goodman)

Edited line : “You see what happens Larry when you find a stranger in the Alps?”

Also :

"This is what happens when you pump a stranger's gas!" and “What the frog?” – Barry (Jack Black)  

HIGH FIDELITY (2000)






THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)

“Froggin’ ashpole”
- Ted (Ben Stiller) to Pat (Matt Dillon)



PLATOON (1986)

“Come on maggot farmer, move!”
- Pvt. Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen)



SCARFACE (1983)

Original Line: "How'd you get that scar? Eating pussy?"
- Immigration Officer (Garnett Smith)

Edited Line: “how’d you get that scar? Eating Pineapple?” (also “pudding”)




THE USUAL SUSPECTS (1995)

Original Line: : "Hand me the keys you fucking cock sucker"
- spoken by all 5 suspects (Kevin Pollack, Stephen Baldwin, Benicio Del Toro, Gabriel Byrne, and Kevin Spacey) in the police line up.

Edited Line: "Hand me the keys you fairy godmother."




DIE HARD (1988)

Original Line: "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"
- John McClane (Bruce Willis)

Edited Line: "Yippie-kye-ay, Mister Falcon!"






LETHAL WEAPON (1987)

2 lines both spoken by one of the candidates for MAN OF THE YEAR 2006 - Mel Gibson as lovable suicidal cop Martin Riggs :

"We bury the funsters!”
and
"I'm a real cop, this is a real badge and this is a real firing gun!"





GOODFELLAS (1990)

Original Line : "You're a fuckin' mumblin', stutterin' little fuck"
Tommy (Joe Pesci)

Edited Line : "You're a friggin' mumblin', stutterin' little fink."







THE EXORCIST (1973)

Original Line: "Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!"-
Regan (Linda Blair) possessed by Pazuzu (voice - Mercedes MacCambridge)

Edited Line: "Your mother sews socks that smell!"



PULP FICTION (1994)

Original Line : "I got my eyes wide fuckin' open!"
- Jules (Samuel L. Jackson)

Edited Line: "I got my eyes wide focused open!"



ROBOCOP (1987)


"You're gonna be a real mothercrasher!"
- Bob Morton (Miguel Ferrer)



Send your favorite 'edited for TV' lines to: Boopbloop7@gmail.com









So if Peter O'Toole was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving would his mug shot look an better or worse than the poster for his latest film?


Discuss.










And all I want to know about this movie is -

does it have a montage?






More later...

Dreaming On: THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP, THE ILLUSIONIST, And HOLLYWOODLAND

"So many social engagements, so little time."
- Gale (John Goodman) RAISING ARIZONA (Dir. Joel Coen 1987)

Yeah - lots going on. Recent theatrical releases, new releases on video, and some notable music DVDs need to be blogged 'bout but this time out I'll just deal with the last few movies I saw at the theater :

THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP (Dir. Michael Gondry) Many many movies have been about earnest yet clumsily romantic young artists who live fuller in their dreams than in reality. Gael Garcia Bernal fills the part with wide eyed likeability though unfortunately the flimsy sitcom premise doesn't sustain the big picture. The wonderfully fluid dream sequences will no doubt make this a cult favorite in years to come but it feels like a rough draft. The relationship between Stephane (Bernal) and Stephanie (Charlotte Gainsburg) doesn't sparkle and the uneven narrative doesn't help - I feel like a good 20-30 minutes could be edited out and the flow would improve greatly. Still, with the amount of unadventurous crap out there, THE SCIENCE OF SLEEP shouldn't be ignored or dismissed by film babblers like me - visually it is a beautiful film, so I'll conclude : flawed but worthwhile.

THE ILLUSIONIST (Dir. Neil Burger) Based on the short story Eisenheim the Illusionist. However, I heard Eisenheim (played by Edward Norton) through the accents sound like 'Asinine' as if thats what the characters name would be in a crude Mad magazine satire. Not that this flick is asinine - no its a fairly entertaining period piece mildly marred from unecessary and purposely unexplained special effects and a twist ending right out of THE USUAL SUSPECTS. Norton puts in a stoic and strangely unenergetic performance and Paul Giamatti chews scenery as a Chief Inspector intent on figuring out Eisenheim's tricks while Jessica Biel provides the elusive love interest. Maybe the real illusion the movie pulls off is that it is better than mediocre - it's not but at times you'll think it is.

HOLLYWOODLAND (Dir. Allen Coulter) If I were still in quick quotable blurb mode like in my last post I might be tempted to just write "Hollywoodbland!" but that, like the Asinine the Illusionist in the review above is just silly non-criticism and definitively inaccurate. While I agree with the Onion AV Club that this feels like an HBO original movie and concur with the New York Times that it "tells several stories, one of them reasonably well", I enjoyed the performances and bought into the boulevard of broken dreams pathos. Having watched the reruns of '50's TV Superman starring George Reeves as a kid I appreciated that they nailed the look and style in the recreations. Adrian Brody does solid work as the gumshoe hired to solve the mystery of Reeves headline making suicide and we switch back and forth in time from him to Ben Affleck's surprisingly note-perfect portrayal of Reeves in the events leading up to his death. If not remarkable HOLLYWOODLAND is a decent pointed period piece, I'm not sure if I'm on board with the film's implications in it's conclusion - involving mistress Diane Lane and her jealous studio boss husband Bob Hoskins but that doesn't make it ring hollow.

Hmmm, I'm sensing a trend here - I mean I just babbled 'bout 3 movies that were neither great nor awful just decent. I hope we're just in summer to fall transition and the movies will get much better or at least more interesting. We've got some possibilities coming with THE DEPARTED, FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION, STRANGER THAN FICTION, and RUNNING WITH SCISSORS, but no breath holding here.

Some more babble 'bout some concert films and a notable documentary when film babble returns...

More later...

DVD Review: SEA OF LOVE (Collector's Edition)

The golden age of the “erotic thriller” genre was undoubtedly the '80s with the glossy ilk of such hits as FATAL ATTRACTION, NO WAY OUT, and the immortal BODY HEAT, but it became a joke in the '90s with such embarrassments as BASIC INSTINCT, BODY OF EVIDENCE, and well just about everything that has Joe Eszterhaus's name on it. My personal favorite of the genre was:

SEA OF LOVE (Dir. Harold Becker, 1988)

This was originally embraced as a return to form for Al Pacino after such forgetful fare as AUTHOR, AUTHOR and REVOLUTION in the first half of the '80s. It was indeed great to see him in a gritty sometimes even pathetic part as a hard drinking police detective dealing with divorce and obsessed with tracking a serial killer. The schlubby Pacino compares notes with partner John Goodman and they drunkenly decide to set up a sting operation through meetings with possible suspects made from personal ad connections. 

Ellen Barkin's character is the outgoing as Hell is-she-a-vixen?-is-she-not? parable that the plot hinges on. A lot of this is predictable and at times can be awfully generic plotting, but the amount of well placed and well paced humor, good acting, and sharp dialogue makes this still in 2004 a good watch. 

Also just about everyone in it is somebody you will surely know from something else: Samuel L. Jackson has a small part at the beginning, The West Wing actors John Spencer and Michael O'Neill, Six Feet Under's Richard Jenkins, and the always intensely creepy Michael Rooker from JFK and HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER all add to the must-see value of this mostly overlooked time-killer. Available on a Universal special edition DVD with Special Features including a commentary by director Becker and a few scratchy deleted scenes.

More later…