5 Sensational Simpsons Cinema Satires

With just under 3 days until the premiere of David Silverman's THE SIMPSONS MOVIE it seems like every pop culture site on this whole world wide web has a Simpsons list or celebratory article these days.



The Onion A.V. Club has a Simpsons list promised for every day this week - so far we've got Monday's Inventory - "15 Simpsons Moments That Perfectly Captured Their Eras",Tuesday's un-numbered "The strangest Simpsons products", and Wednesday's The Simpsons Vs. Civilization - all well worth checking out. 



Vanity Fair recently presented their "survey of the 10 funniest top 10 Simpsons episodes ever", The London Times chimed in with their "The 33 funniest Simpsons cameos ever", and even AOL Television did a 25 "Best Episodes Ever list". Whew!



Being a huge Simpsons fan (and yes, I would defend the recent seasons to anyone) I couldn't resist making my own list. This being Film Babble it should be cinema-centric and that presented an obvious concept : the best most definitive extended satires of a particular film. 



Now there are thousands of film references through-out the entire 18 year run of the classic show. Many characters come from the movies like failed salesman Gil who is a Jack Lemmon GLENGARY GLEN ROSS (Dir. James Foley, 1992) archetype, Chief Wiggum's voice and mannerisms are based on Edward G. Robinson, Apu is named after Satyajit Ray's THE APU TRILOGY, action star Rainer Wolfcastle is obviously based on Arnold Swartzenegger and so on and so on. 



It's hard to think of a movie that hasn't been name-checked and of course many episodes borrow plots, angles, full screen set-ups and quote exact lines and but these are to me the most notable whether they were full episodes or extended sequences satirizing specific movie classics: 



1. “Rosebud” ('93) : A few months back CITIZEN KANE (1941) * made the AFI's Top 100 list and this episode named, of course, after Charles Foster Kane's (Orson Welles) last word is Film Babble's #1 Simpsons Cinema Satire. Not just because it's a parody/homage to that immense immortal masterpiece but because it's a phenomenally hilarious episode that has deservedly made many lists. 



Evil nuclear power plant millionaire C. Montgomery Burns (The C. is for Charles - another similarity to Kane), who keeps a box of Nev-R-Break snow globes at his bed-side longs after his childhood teddy bear Bobo, much like Kane longed after his beloved sled. In a flashback we see that after being abandoned by the pubescent Burns (his father - "Wait, you've forgot your bear! A symbol of your lost youth and innocence!") Bobo has a historical journey involving a plane trip with Charles Lindbergh, a stay in Hitler's bunker, a trip on the submarine Nautilus before finally ending up in a bag of ice in the present day. 



Bart purchases the ice at the Quickie Mart and gives the old ragged bear to Maggie. Burns learns of the Simpsons possession and he offers a huge reward but standing by his daughter Homer refuses. Burns's ineptly funny attempts to steal back Bobo may not recall KANE and a good chunk of the show is the usual Simpsons riffing but the KANE context of the Burns Bobo back-story really puts this one on top. 



A cameo by the Ramones is the icing on the cake. 



"Rosebud" wasn't the first or last Simpsons episode to reference CITIZEN KANE. In the 1990 episode "Two Cars In Every Garage and Three Eyes On Every Fish" Burns protests "You can't do this to me! I'm Charles! Montgomery! Burns!" which obviously comes from "You can't do this to me! I'm Charles! Foster! Kane!" and in that same episode Burns stands in front of a big poster of himself during his campaign speech. 



In one DVD commentary the Simpsons staff remark half-jokingly that they have referenced KANE so much that you could recreate the film completely from Simpsons scenes and shot steals. 



2. “Cape Feare” ('93) Just a few episodes before "Rosebud" both the original CAPE FEAR (Dir. J. Lee Thompson, 1962) and the '92 remake CAPE FEAR (Dir. Martin Scorsese) got their episode length roasting over a Simpsons fire. Substituting Sideshow Bob (voiced by Kelsey Grammer) for recently released revenge minded Max Cady (Robert Mitchum '62, Robert Deniro '92) we get essentially the same narrative - A family is stalked by a man he once helped put in jail. 



The Simpsons in place of the Bowden family leave town and assume new witness relocation identities as The Thompsons and take up residence at Terror Lake. The whole ends in a showdown (actually a performance of Gilbert and Sullivan's "H.M.S. Pinafore") on a houseboat. 



Also factor into the mix a slice of Hitchcock's classic 1960 thriller PSYCHO: Sideshow Bob stays at the Bate's Motel. A truly inspired episode but silly as can be - on the DVD commentary writer / producer Al Jean even says "when you look at Sideshow Bob and his master plan it really is just to stab this 10 year old boy! I mean when he gets to the boat it's not very subtle - 'I want to cut him until he dies!'"



There's that and this priceless Sideshow Bob line when defending his "Die Bart, Die" tattoo in court - "no, that's German for "The Bart, The!" 



3. “The Shinning” ('94) In this 8 min. segment of "Treehouse Of Horror V" THE SHINING (Dir. Stanley Kubrick, 1980) gets skewered. Burns has the Simpson family act as caretakers for his mansion in the mountains modeled meticulously on the Overlook Hotel in said Kubrick classic.



When told by Groundskeeper Willie that he has "the shin-ning", Bart replies "you mean "the shining!" Willie whispers "shh - you want to get sued?" When leaving for the winter Burns boasts about his cutting off the cable TV and the beer supply - Two things that Smithers argues may have been the reason the previous caretakers went insane and murdered their families.



Burns says "perhaps, if we come back and everyone is slaughtered - I owe you a Coke." Sure enough in almost no time Homer does go insane. The deconstruction of THE SHINING is a thing of genius here - Marge saying "What he's typed will be a window into his madness", the ghost of Moe prompting Homer to kill his family but having no real substantial reason for it - "uh, because they'd be much happier as ghosts." 



Then there's Homer's take on Jack Nicholson's over the top antics. When blowing his "Here's Johnny" intro because he chopped his axe into an empty room - he finally gets the right room and holding up a stopwatch yells "I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley, all this and Andy Rooney too on 60 Minutes!"



4. “Cosmic
Wars : The Gathering Shadow” from "Co-Dependent's Day" ('04)– This
one is a little odd. I mean STAR WARS (1977-2005) has been directly referred to in many many episodes (go here for a Simpsons Archive List) so to have a likewise film series with a look-alike director (Randal Curtis standing in for George Lucas) seems a bit off. 



Apparently they didn't want to name names because it deals with ridiculing the anticipation killing THE PHANTOM MENACE so the Simpsons creators didn't want to alienate or insult Lucasfilm and 20th Century Fox according to Wikipedia. I included it because is has some great prequel parodying moments when breaking down the numbing exposition and specifically satirizing Jar-Jar (Jim-Jam). "Cosmic Wars" only exists for a few minutes so it's one of many films within the Simpsons and is never mentioned after the episode (they go back to STAR WARS references) so it is a perfect example of what Matt Groening has called "flexible reality" or a "rubber-band universe" - in which something lasts as long as the joke does then the next day it's gone.





5. “Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious” ('97) The answer to stress so strong it's making Marge's hair fall out is for the family to get a nanny but not just any nanny MARY POPPINS! - No wait, make that Shary Bobbins. Julie Andrews was set to play the part but the producers decided on Maggie Roswell to take on the vocal duties of the sweet singing flying umbrella traveling, and just all around neat freak.



The episode is a complete musical and uses several melodies from the original 1964 Disney film. It goes back and forth from the respectful tributes in the songs to the crude satire of the cheap animation and outdated morale. In the end crude satire wins - Bobbins dies by getting sucked up in a passing airplane's jet engine while the Simpsons' backs are turned.





This episode reportedly had to have the most padding out of any Simpsons episode - an “Itchy and Scratchy” Quentin Tarantino parody “Reservoir Cats"” (pictured on the right) was a late addition.



That's the Top Five but special mention should be given to: “Bart Simpson’s Dracula” ('93), from "Treehouse Of Horror IV," a dead on spoof of BRAM STROKER’S DRACULA (1992) right down to Burns' hair-do. Contains better acting than the Coppola version for sure.

“Marge On The Lam” ('93) lampoons THELMA & LOUISE (Dir. Ridley Scott, 1991) 



“Two Dozen and One Greyhounds” to the tune of 101 DALMATIONS (1961)



“Deep Space Homer” ('94) steals its ending from 2001 : A SPACE ODDYSEY (1968).

Al Jean once said it was a close tie between the large amounts of CITIZEN KANE and Kubrick references on The Simpsons.



Maybe when the show is over we can take a tally. I've been trying to only deal with more extended parodies because there have been too many snippet steals from movies in the series run but Homer as the space-baby is just too hard to pass up. 

“Twenty-Two Short Films About Springfield” ('96) - This magnificent episode's title and some of its inspiration comes from THIRTY TWO SHORT FILMS ABOUT GLENN GOULD but it's really more PULP FICTION as many have acknowledged before me and will again. And so on and so forth. The next time I post will be after I see THE SIMPSONS MOVIE and I will give you a full review. Until then may a noble spirit embiggen your soul. 



More later...

DVD Babble Blurb Bash-tacular!

I have seen a lot of recent DVDs over the last few months that I haven't been blogged about so I thought it would be good to take a break from the summer sequel season and round up a handful and square them off. I tried to keep it in a brief blurb format but since this is film BABBLE the reviews of course wind on and on. Let's start with -

New Release DVD Recommendations :

LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA (Dir. Clint Eastwood, 2006) Word was that this was vastly superior to FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS but this politically correct companion piece is roughly the same quality in my estimation. Told from the Japanese point of view entirely in their language with sub-titles LETTERS has the same sense of earnest honor and the same grey overcast tint. The standout characters are General Tadamichi Kuribayashi (Ken Watanabe) the young Saigo (Kazunari Ninomira) who run into each other more than once in the tunnels between Mount Saribachi and the north side of the island as bombing and ground attacks by the American troops rage above. The melodrama involving the sympathy that emerges is handled deftly by Eastwood while the sentiment - such as the sunny Speilbergisms that sadly have defined the modern era war-film is kept in check. It may be too much to watch both FLAGS and LETTERS in one sitting or some double feature setting but both even with their glorified old-school faults (most likely from the screenplay written by CRASH * director Paul Hack-ish, oh - I mean Haggis) should not be missed.

* Incidentely my least favorite Best Picture Academy Award winning film ever!



49 UP (Dir. Michael Apted, 2005) The 7th in the excellent documentary series that began in 1964 with the bold statement - "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man" and followed 14 British children catching up with them every (yep) 7 years. Since most people I know haven't seen any of these movies I'd highly recommend the Up Series box-set which has the previous 6 films but honestly that's not absolutely necessary to enjoy this movie. Plenty of clips from all the films inform and enhance the new material and don't come off as redundant for those who have kept up. It would be too much for me to recount all the names, stories, and economic backgrounds so check out this Wikipedia entry if you are curious. Seeing this group of real people at the various stages of their lives through turmoil and peace makes for extremely satisfying viewing. Bring on 56 UP!

ROCKY BALBOA
(Dir. Sylvester Stallone, 2006)

It's hard for me to believe this is making my recommendations list. I mean as a kid I hated the ROCKY movies, ridiculed them with other snotty pimpled faced friends, and grew up to believe them to be populist Narcissistic America at its most lame brained epic-wannabes. At some point when I got older I caught the original Best Picture winning ROCKY and found myself liking it. It came from my favorite era of cinema (the 70's dummy!) and it was grittily touching in its portrayal of the boxing underdog making a name for himself. Then sequel-itis set in and the character became a machine who could never lose in glitzy gimmicky match-ups with Mr. T (III) and that evil Russian powerhouse played by Dolph Lundgren (IV) - yes that's right - Rocky was going to win the Cold War! I never even saw ROCKY V (1990) - so why do I like and recommend ROCKY BALBOA? Because we have Stallone at his most likable - an aging humble simpleton running a restaurant named after his deceased wife Adrian (Talia Shire - who is not deceased; she just didn't return to the series), telling the same fight stories, and brushing off daily indignities. It seems oddly necessary for Stallone to return to his Rocky roots - this is his best and most definable character and even with the contrived 'inspired by a video game simulation Rocky gets an exhibition match with the current troubled champ Mason 'The Line Dixon' (Antonio Tarver)' scenario, I hate to admit it but it works. Bring on JOHN RAMBO! Okay, no wait - that's a bit much.

And now :

New Release DVD Disses :

BOBBY (Dir. Emilio Estevez, 2006) I had heard the news upon its theatrical release that this was a NASHVILLE remake - relocated to the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles with the RFK assassination the backdrop to a convoluted mishmash of over 20 cliched '60s stereotypes. I held out 'til it came in that red Netflix envelope because of my love for political period pieces but damn was that description right on the money! The Altman derived framework doesn't disguise the awful screenplay with ham-fisted base dialogue like Nick Cannon playing an insufferably idealistic Kennedy staffer emoting "now that Dr. King is gone - no one left but Bobby. No one." Cannon joins an ace cast including Anthony Hopkins, Lawrence Fishborne, William H. Macy, Harry Belfonte, Christian Slater (one of the few non-idealist characters - he plays a base racist), and Estevez's Daddy Martin Sheen. Not so ace actors here include Elijah Wood, Lindsay Lohan, Demi Moore and Estevez himself. The cringe inducing cliches pile up - Ashton Kutcher does his worst acting ever (can't believe that was possible) as a hippy that would look phony on Dragnet 1967- during a horrifyingly stupid acid trip sequence actually sits staring at an orange in his hand saying "no, you shut up!", every TV set has a perfect quality picture of carefully chosen clips of RFK speeches and there's even a MAGNOLIA-esque montage going from strained close-up shots actor to actor. Can't deny the heart that went into this movie but all we have here is an A-list cast, B-list production values, C-list cliches, D-list overused soundtrack standards, and an F-list script. Somebody revoke Estevez's cinematic license! He should be exiled to the TV movie circuit after this film felony.

SMOKIN' ACES (Dir. Joe Carnahan, 2007) Another better than average cast slumming it through derivative drivel. Flashy Vegas gangster caper in which every one in the cast is after sleazy magician soon to be snitch Buddy Aces (Jeremy Piven - pictured on the left). Some are trying to protect him - (lawyer Curtis Armstrong, FBI agents Ryan Reynolds and Ray Liotta under the supervision of chief Andy Garcia) but everybody else is trying to kill him including Alicia Keys, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, and rapper Common - okay yeah so it's not A-list but most of them are still better than the material in this worn entry into the PULP FICTION-GET SHORTY-LOCK STOCK-GO sweepstakes that expired over a decade ago. Kind of like Shane Black's also post-dated glib witless KISS KISS BANG BANG (2005) SMOKIN' ACES is a lesson in how quick cutting and hip-hopisms don't ensure a clever crafty meta-movie. Just say Tarenti-NO to this piece of pop-nonsense.

This post (especially the disses) is dedicated to Good Morning America critic Joel Siegel (1943-2007). He became a film babble hero when he walked out of a screening of CLERKS II last summer. Knowing his days were numbered he figured he didn't want to waste his last hours on that crap. The fact that it pissed off Kevin Smith was the icing on the cake! Check out Roger Ebert's heartfelt tribute.


More later...

Movie & TV Mind Teasers - A Film Babble Pop Quiz

It's film babble blog's 80th post! So I thought instead of the regular movie review babble I'd indulge in a sideline love of mine: MOVIE & TV MIND TEASERS! Here's the major unanswered questions in the realm of modern pop-culture in a quick 'n easy pop-quiz format:

1. What was in the briefcase in PULP FICTION?

2. What was in the package that Charlie Meadows (John Goodman) leaves in the care of Barton (John Turturro) in BARTON FINK? 

3. What state is Springfield in on The Simpsons? 

 

4. Why (or how) is Chance the Gardener (Peter Sellers) able to walk on water at the end of BEING THERE? 

5. How (or why) did Groundhog Day keep repeating to Phil Connors (Bill Murray) in GROUNDHOG DAY? 

6. What is the one thing that 13 CONVERSATIONS ABOUT ONE THING is about? 

7. Did Mookie (Spike Lee) do the right thing in DO THE RIGHT THING?

8. When the Fonz (Henry Winkler) moved in over the Cunningham's garage on Happy Days, did he actually pay rent? 

9. How on bloody Earth did those images get on that damn videotape in any version of THE RING?

10. Who killed chauffeur Owen Taylor (Dan Wallace) in THE BIG SLEEP? (Man, if you can answer this...)

EXTRA CREDIT: Who put the monolith on earth during the apes BC segment and on the moon in 2001 in 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY? God or Aliens? - Discuss. 

EXTRA EXTRA CREDIT: Why in Christ's name did Rose (Gloria Stuart) throw the extremely valuable necklace with the diamond into the ocean in TITANIC?!!? I mean it could have helped out her struggling artist daughter and funded further research on the damn boat sinking bullshit - for Christ's sake! Someone please explain it to me!!!! 

Send your answers to: filmbabbleblog@gmail.com 

More later...

"Yippie-kye-ay, Mister Falcon!" And Other EDITED FOR TV favorites

"This town is like a great big chicken just waitin' to get plucked.”
- Tony Montana (Al Pacino) from the edited for television edit of SCARFACE (1983) * (If you need to know the original line email the address below)



Usually I avoid when movies are shown on broadcast television because they're edited-for-time full-screen versions - I mean it's almost like they don't count. But sometimes when I come upon a movie I like when changing channels I've found they are sometimes worth watching for the re-dubbing of profane lines.




SCARFACE above, and THE EXORCIST are famous for their creative hilarious for-all-audiences re-toolings. Not content to just use 'freak' or 'freaking' the censors picked every other f-word (frozen, fruitful, foolish, etc.) in the dictionary to cover all the 'fucks' in a recent airing of FARGO. It's quite a different movie when you see Steve Buscemi yelling "you foolish people!" after being shot in the face you know?

These are some other funny examples:



THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

Original line : "You see what happens Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass?"
- Walter (John Goodman)

Edited line : “You see what happens Larry when you find a stranger in the Alps?”

Also :

"This is what happens when you pump a stranger's gas!" and “What the frog?” – Barry (Jack Black)  

HIGH FIDELITY (2000)






THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (1998)

“Froggin’ ashpole”
- Ted (Ben Stiller) to Pat (Matt Dillon)



PLATOON (1986)

“Come on maggot farmer, move!”
- Pvt. Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen)



SCARFACE (1983)

Original Line: "How'd you get that scar? Eating pussy?"
- Immigration Officer (Garnett Smith)

Edited Line: “how’d you get that scar? Eating Pineapple?” (also “pudding”)




THE USUAL SUSPECTS (1995)

Original Line: : "Hand me the keys you fucking cock sucker"
- spoken by all 5 suspects (Kevin Pollack, Stephen Baldwin, Benicio Del Toro, Gabriel Byrne, and Kevin Spacey) in the police line up.

Edited Line: "Hand me the keys you fairy godmother."




DIE HARD (1988)

Original Line: "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"
- John McClane (Bruce Willis)

Edited Line: "Yippie-kye-ay, Mister Falcon!"






LETHAL WEAPON (1987)

2 lines both spoken by one of the candidates for MAN OF THE YEAR 2006 - Mel Gibson as lovable suicidal cop Martin Riggs :

"We bury the funsters!”
and
"I'm a real cop, this is a real badge and this is a real firing gun!"





GOODFELLAS (1990)

Original Line : "You're a fuckin' mumblin', stutterin' little fuck"
Tommy (Joe Pesci)

Edited Line : "You're a friggin' mumblin', stutterin' little fink."







THE EXORCIST (1973)

Original Line: "Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!"-
Regan (Linda Blair) possessed by Pazuzu (voice - Mercedes MacCambridge)

Edited Line: "Your mother sews socks that smell!"



PULP FICTION (1994)

Original Line : "I got my eyes wide fuckin' open!"
- Jules (Samuel L. Jackson)

Edited Line: "I got my eyes wide focused open!"



ROBOCOP (1987)


"You're gonna be a real mothercrasher!"
- Bob Morton (Miguel Ferrer)



Send your favorite 'edited for TV' lines to: Boopbloop7@gmail.com









So if Peter O'Toole was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving would his mug shot look an better or worse than the poster for his latest film?


Discuss.










And all I want to know about this movie is -

does it have a montage?






More later...

100 Years, 100 Better Quotes

The American Film Institute just unveiled another mighty list - this one is of 100 movie quotes :

AFI'S 100 YEARS, 100 MOVIE QUOTES

Thinking that many of the lines while great are too obvious we here at film babble compiled an alternate list. 



Some lines come from the same movies, some are more profane but all are ones we cherish more than the AFI's precious official annointing. Enjoy!



FILM BABBLE BLOG'S 100 YEARS, 100 BETTER QUOTES



1. Girl: "What're you rebelling against, Johnny?"
Johnny Strabbler (Marlon Brando): "Whaddya got?"
- THE WILD ONE (1953) Can't believe this didn't make the AFI's list! Heh - losers.



2. "My teenage angst now has a body count" - Veronica Sawyer (Winnona Ryder) HEATHERS (1989)



3. "Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet." - The Wolf (Harvey Keitel) PULP FICTION (1994)





     

4. "You aren't too bright. I like that in a man. " - Matty (Kathleen Turner) BODY HEAT (1981)



5. "We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter." - H.I. (Nicolas Cage) RAISING ARIZONA (1987)



6. "Into the mud, scum queen!" - Dr. Hfuhruhurr (Steve Martin) THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS (1982)



7. "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go. " - Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981)



8. "Mother! Oh God, mother! Blood! Blood!" - Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) PSYCHO (1960)




9. "But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?" - Tommy (Joe Pesci) GOODFELLAS (1990)



10. "Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock." - Harry Lime (Orson Welles) THE THIRD MAN (1949)



11. "I'll show you a life of the mind!" - Charlie Meadows (John Goodman) BARTON FINK (1991)



12. "These go to eleven" - Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984)



13. "All I'm saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life - remind me to kill myself." - Randall 'Pink' Floyd (Jason London) DAZED AND CONFUSED (1993)



14. "One of us, one of us!" - A freak from FREAKS (1932)



15. "Who did the president, who killed Kennedy, fuck man! It's a mystery! It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! The fuckin' shooters don't even know! Don't you get it?" - David Ferrie (Joe Pesci) JFK (1991)



16. "His brain has not only been washed, as they say... It has been dry cleaned." Dr. Yen Lo (Khigh Dheigh) THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1960)



17. "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that." - Lloyd Dobbler (John Cusack) SAY ANYTHING (1988)



18. "Oh please, if everyone around here is going to start telling the truth, I'm going to bed."
- Jackie O. (PARKER POSEY) HOUSE OF YES (1997)



19. "Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo." - Fletch (Chevy Chase) FLETCH (1985)



20. " I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science." - McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST 1975



21. " Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man!" - The Dude (Jeff Bridges) THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1998)

22. "Sticks and stones may break your bones but words cause permanent damage." - Barry (Eric Bogosian) TALK RADIO (1988)



23. "I will not be ignored, Dan!" - Alex Forrest (Glenn Close) FATAL ATTRACTION (1987)



24. "This is so bad it's gone from good back to bad again" - Enid (Thora Birch) GHOST WORLD (2001)



25. "Why do I hear 50 thousand dollars worth of pyscho-therapy dialing 911?" - Gabe (Woody Allen) HUSBANDS AND WIVES (1992)



26. "Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... ass... FACE!" - Corky St. Clair (Christopher Guest) WAITING FOR GUFFMAN (1996)



27. "You see, if it bends, it works. If it breaks, it doesn't work." - Lester (Alan Alda) CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS (1989)







28. "One through nine, no maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can't travel in space, you can't go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, uh, with fractions - what are you going to land on - one-quarter, three-eighths? What are you going to do when you go from here to Venus or something? That's dialectic physics." - Photojournalist (Dennis Hopper) APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)



29. "Don't call me chicken" - Jim Stark (James Dean) REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955)



30. "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" - Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) CLERKS (1994)



31. "I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had" - Arthur (Dudley Moore) ARTHUR (1981)




32. "So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?" - John Bender (Judd Nelson) THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985)



33. "I am not your problem to solve!" - Alice Green (Meg Ryan) WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN (1994)



34. "Why are frogs falling from the sky?" - Phil Parma (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) MAGNOLIA (1999)



35. Gonzo (Dave Goelz): "Well, I want to go to Bombay, India to become a movie star."
Fozzie (Frank Oz): "You don't go to Bombay to become a movie star. You go where we're going, Hollywood." Gonzo: "Well, sure, if you want to do it the *easy* way."
- THE MUPPET MOVIE (1978)



36. "If Mike Tyson dreams about whuppin' my ass , he better wake up and apologize."
- SWEET WILLIE DICK (Robin Harris) DO THE RIGHT THING (1989) - Tarantino used a variation of this line in RESERVOIR DOGS 1992- "You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize." - Mr. White (Harvey Keitel)



37. "I am so glad that I got sober now so I can be hyper-conscious for this series of humiliations." - Suzanne (Merle Streep) POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE (1990)



38. "Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There's genocide, war, corruption. Every fucking day, somewhere in the world, somebody sacrifices his life to save someone else. Every fucking day, someone, somewhere makes a conscious decision to destroy someone else. People find love, people lose it. For Christ's sake, a child watches her mother beaten to death on the steps of a church. Someone goes hungry. Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman. If you can't find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don't know crap about life. And why the FUCK are you wasting my two precious hours with your movie? I don't have any use for it. I don't have any bloody use for it."
- Robert McNee (Brian Cox) ADAPTATION (2001)



39. "I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker!" - Budduskey (Jack Nicholson) THE LAST DETAIL 1973






40. "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." - Tony Montana (Al Pacino) SCARFACE (1983)



41. "Where does he get those wonderful toys?" -The Joker (Jack Nicholson) BATMAN (1989)



42. "Come on, fellas. Rome wasn't built in a day." - Coach Morris Buttermaker (Walter Matthau) "Yeah, it took several hundred years." -Ogilvie ( Alfred Lutter III)
BAD NEWS BEARS (1976)






43. "Harold, *everyone* has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can't let the world judge you too much."
- Maude (Ruth Gordon) HAROLD AND MAUDE (1971)



44. "Make like a tree...and get outta here." - Biff (Thomas F. Wilson) BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985)



45. "I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around." - Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey) FULL METAL JACKET (1986)



46. "Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best." - Boris (Woody Allen) LOVE AND DEATH

47. "You're right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars *next* year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I'll have to close this place in... 60 years. - Charles Foster Kane (Orson Welles) CITIZEN KANE (1941)



48. "Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If "needy" were a turn-on?" - Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks) BROADCAST NEWS (1987)



49. "Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in." - Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) GODFATHER PART III - Funny how everyone's least favorite GODFATHER film has one of the most quoted lines., huh?



50. "You have clearance Clarence, roger Roger, what's our vector Victor?" - Captain Clarence Oveur (Peter Graves) AIRPLANE! (1980) - You gotta admit this is better than the 'Shirley' line.



51. "Only one is a wanderer; two together are always going somewhere." - Madeleine (Kim Novak) VERTIGO (1958)






52. "The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club." - Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) FIGHT CLUB (1999)



53. "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me me." - God (George Burns) OH GOD (1977)





54. Sam Burns (John Lithgow) - "You're a very rude young woman. I know Douglas from the Rotary and I can't believe he'd want you treating customers so badly." Checkout Girl : "I don't think I was treating her badly." Sam Burns : "Then you must be from New York." - TERMS OF ENDEARMENT (1983)



55. "If you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, do you know what's gonna happen to you?...You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company." - Colonel Bat Guano (Keenen Wynn) DR. STRANGELOVE (1964)



56. "I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?" - Tess McGill (Melanie Griffith) WORKING GIRL (1988)



57. "That is one nutty hospital." - Jeff (Bill Murray) TOOTSIE (1982)



58. "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way." - Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner) WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT (1988)



59. "Roads? Where we're going we don't need - roads." - Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) BACK TO THE FUTURE (1985)



60. "He's got a real purty mouth, ain't he?" - Toothle



61. "They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God." -Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd) THE BLUES BROTHERS (1980)

62. "It's okay with me." - Philip Marlowe (Elliot Gould) THE LONG GOODBYE (1973)



63. "Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy." - Written on a piece of a paper recited by some dude in SLACKER (1991) - also quoted in R.E.M.'s "What's The Frequency Kenneth" - "Richard said, Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy".



64. "Back and to the left." - Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner) JFK (1991)



65. "Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due." - George Lang (Ricky Jay) THE SPANISH PRISONER (1997)



66. "It really tied the room together" - just about everybody in THE BIG LEBOWSKI (1997)



67. "What in the wide world of sports is going on here?!!?" - Taggart (Slim Pickens) BLAZZING SADDLES (1974)



68. "I've got a bad feeling about this" - Luke Skywalker(Mark Hamil), Han Solo (Harrison Ford), Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), C-3PO (Anthony Daniels, Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), etc. said in every STAR WARS movie (1977-2005)



69. "Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion." - Kitty Farmer (Beth Grant) DONNIE DARKO (2001)



70. "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." - Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)



71. "I believe in the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." - Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) BULL DURHAM (1987)



72. "As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll." - Mick Shrimpton (R.J. Parnell) THIS IS SPINAL TAP (1984)






73. "Ah Kirk, my old friend. Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space." - Khan (Ricardo Montalban) STAR TREK II : THE WRATH OF KHAN (1982)



74. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF (1986)



75. "I think you're the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you." - Harry Block (Woody Allen) DECONSTRUCTING HARRY (1997)



76. "Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!" - Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) GHOST BUSTERS (1984)



77. "Pimps is an ugly word. We could call ourselves love brokers!" - Bill Blazejowski (Michael Keaton) NIGHT SHIFT (1981)



78. "Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here." - Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) AMERICAN BEAUTY (1999)



79. "Don't point that finger at me unless you intend to use it." - Oscar Madison (Walter Matthau) THE ODD COUPLE (1968)



80. "I'd buy that for a dollar!" - Bixby Snyder (S.D. Nemeth) ROBOCOP (1988)



81. Superman (Christopher Reeve) : "Is that how a warped brain like yours gets its kicks? By planning the death of innocent people?
Lex Luther (Gene Hackman) : "No, by causing the death of innocent people."
SUPERMAN : THE MOVIE (1978)



82. "Strange game--the only winning move is not to play." - Joshua (computer) WAR GAMES (1983)




83. "This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in" - Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau) ED WOOD (1994)



84. "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." - Verbal (Kevin Spacey) THE USUAL SUSPECTS (1995)



85. "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K" - Ted Logan (Keanu Reeves) BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE (1989)

86. "I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire six shots, or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya punk?" - Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) DIRTY HARRY (1971)



87. "It was the classic mother B.B. gun block: "You'll shoot your eye out." That deadly phrase uttered many times before by hundreds of mothers, was not surmountable by any means known to kiddom." - Ralphie (Jean Sheppard) A CHRISTMAS STORY (1983)



88. "Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that." - Tree Trimmer (Steven Williams) BETTER OFF DEAD (1985)



89. "No, I have to do this my way. You tell me what you know, and I'll confirm. I'll keep you in the right direction if I can, but that's all. Just... follow the money." - Deep Throat (Hal Holbrook) ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN (1976)



90. " I may go back to hating you. It was more fun." - Roger (Cary Grant) NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1958)



91. "Well, we lost the first game of the season. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. We always lose the first game of the season and the last game of the season. (pause)
AND ALL THOSE STUPID GAMES IN BETWEEN!" - Charlie Brown (Peter Robbins) A BOY NAMED CHARLIE BROWN (1969)



92. "Now that I've met you, would you object to never seeing me again?" - Claudia Wilson Gator (Melora Walters) MAGNOLIA (1999) - this line was lifted from the Aimee Mann song "Deathly".





93. "I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we've got something here." - Griffin Mill (Tim Robbins) THE PLAYER (1992)



94. "Can you imagine what this man would be like had anyone ever loved him?" - Henry Kissinger (Paul Sorvino) NIXON (1995)



95. "No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!" - Miles (Paul Giamatti) SIDEWAYS (2004)


96. "At this moment, I didn't feel shame or fear, but just kind of blah, like when you're sitting there and all the water's run out of the bathtub." - Holly (Sissy Spacek) BADLANDS (1973)



97. "Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it." - Al (Rodney Dangerfield) CADDYSHACK (1980)



98. "Your car is uglier than I am. Oops, that didn't come out right." - Carol (Mackenzie Phillips) AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973)



99. "You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill." - Kurtz (Marlon Brando) APOCALYPSE NOW (1979)



100. "You see the whole culture. Nazis, deodorant salesmen, wrestlers, beauty contests, a talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers. Third grade con men telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak with Jesus, and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up." - Frederick (Max Von Sydow) HANNAH AND HER SISTERS (1986)



Take that AFI! 




More later...