Keepin' Cool With The AC Breeze & New Release DVDs

"Doing da ying and yang, da flip and flop, da hippy and hoppy (yodels) Yo da lay he hoo! I have today's forecast.
(yells) HOT!"
- MR.SEÑOR LOVE DADDY (Samuel L. Jackson) DO THE RIGHT THING (Dir. Spike Lee, 1989)

He said it! It was been unbearably hot this week so the best thing to do is to get the air cranking, tear open a few Netflix envelopes, and devour some DVDs. Here's some I've seen lately and while for the most part they are a dire lot they did provide some diversion from the sweltering Summer sun. Let's start with :

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (Dir. Shawn Levy, 2006) From the trailers I saw for this last Christmas (sorry Holiday season) it looked to me like yet another Ben Stiller as punching bag enterprise but this time aimed at kids with lots of CGI. Well, that's pretty much what it is but it's better than I expected with more than few really funny moments and a great supporting cast. Abundant back and forths (some improvised) between Stiller as a hapless failed inventor turned security guard and Robin Williams dominates the lively proceedings. Williams plays a life sized Teddy Roosevelt in battle mode mannequin, who as I'm sure you know if you've even glanced in the direction of this movie, comes to life with everything else in the museum at night. Not so life size are the miniatures cowboy Jebediah (Owen Wilson - uncredited for some odd reason) and Roman warrior Octavius (Steve Coogan) who make good with their bit parts - sorry for that lame ass pun. Wait - lame ass puns dominate this movie so I'll leave that in.

Anyway Ricky Gervais somehow pulls off some amusing walk-throughs without having a single genuinely funny line while oldtimers Mickey Rooney and Bill Cobbs pull no punches (literally) but the real shining player here? 3 words - Dick. Van. Dyke. Nice to see the man atone for years of bland TV and forgettable cameos by sinking his teeth into his role as Stiller's smooth retiring night guard mentor. Lots of critics have dumped on NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (it has a 44% rating on Rotten Tomatoes) and I agree with the consensus that the CGI doesn't impress like it used to and that the humor may be way too broad at times but I still think it's a decent family film. Even if that's all that it is.

THE NUMBER 23 (Dir. Joel Schumacher, 2007) Sometimes I watch movies that I know are going to be horrible. It’s that I want to know just how and in how many ways they are horrible. I guess the genre here is psychological suspense though there’s nothing either psychological or suspenseful in this convoluted Jim Carrey vehicle. For the first 10 minutes or so Carrey is his usual glide through life wisecracking self until his wife (Virginia Madsen) gives him a book about the supposedly mystical number of the title. He of course becomes obsessed with 23 seeing it everywhere – in his birthday, address, social security #, etc. He cites examples (as does the opening credit sequence does to drive home the meaningless point) like “Ted Bundy was executed on the 23rd of January” * and even writes “9,11, 2001 - 9+11+2+1=23" in pen on his arm. Before long he makes the connection to not only the saxophone (the saxophone has 23 keys!!!) playing detective of the book to some murdered girl and others who have had similar deadly numerical obsessions helping the movie make its red herring quota. Schumacher’s films all have an overly glossy look – something he perfected in the era of high impact rock videos and magazine ads – and this is no exception. Nothing resembling real life here. This time he tried to disguise the stylized emptiness with the contrived “depth” of a cultish pseudo-intellectual theory. Consider it an extremely dumbed down Pi (which cinematographer Mattthew Latique worked on too!). How many ways is this movie horrible? I’m think-ing of a number…

* Actually he wasn’t! Bundy was sent to the electric chair on January 24th, 1989. Ah-ha!

DISTURBIA (D.J. Caruso, 2007) So I feel old and unhip because it took until his hosting of Saturday Night Light earlier this year for me to take note of Shia Lebeouf. I mean the kid is apparently really hot these days - magazine covers, TRANSFORMERS, and he's even going to be the son of Indiana Jones next Summer. Lebouf was called by Vanity Fair the next Tom Hanks (who was called the next Jimmy Stewart in the 80's) has here what was billed as REAR WINDOW for a new generation. Uh, okay. Well, underneath the teen angst veneer the premise of Hitchcock's classic is just a clothesline to hang cliche after cliche on. Under house arrest instead of being wheelchair bound Lebeouf out of boredom spies on his neighbors - mostly Sarah Roemer - the cliched perfect girl next door until his binoculars wander to the cliched suspicious activities of...oh you know the plot!

It's not really so odd how it's not that we can guess everything that happens way before it happens - it's that it seems like the film makers knew we could guess them and still made no attempt to actually trigger true suspense. The house of the serial killer is one of those that only exists in the movies - so full of secret compartments, passageways, shrines, and a well lit sanitized freezer room - he must have gotten the Murder Maniac special at the local real estate office! I shouldn't be so hard on this movie though - it's just another PG-13 thriller throw-away for the weekend multiplex crowd. I'll also admit though that Lebeouf is talented - he rises above this dreck at every unsurprising turn. Now let's just see how he handles that bullwhip.

SOME RANDOM BABBLE :

Isn't it funny how Eddie Murphy who reportedly walked out of the Academy Awards last March because he didn't get the statue for DREAMGIRLS turned down the sequel to DADDY DAY CARE and actual Oscar winner Cuba Gooding Jr. stepped in to play the same role in DADDY DAY CAMP? Isn't that funny? Isn't It?!!? Oh, nevermind.

Don't ask me what's funny about UNDERDOG - because I got nothing.

If they ever make one of those VH1 biopics about The Kids In The Hall they really ought get that guy who's supposed to represent Verizon (or is it AT&T? Cingular?) in those damn Alltel commercials to play Dave Foley. I mean the guy - Scott Halberstadt - would nail it I bet.


The new celebrity-reality show The Two Coreys featuring the present day antics of former teen movie stars Corey Feldman and Corey Haim is airing now on A&E - The Arts & Entertainment Channel. This is definitely ironic because The Two Coreys is neither art nor entertainment. Discuss...

If it seems like the Coen Brothers are overdue for a movie and it sure does to me - their all too brief Buscemi bit in PARIS, JE T'AIME was such a tease - well, soon (November) we've got - NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy. It's got Tommy Lee Jones, Javier Bardem, Kelly McDonald, and Josh Brolin. Despite the fact it has been a while since the Coens have done a film based on their original screenplay this seems promising.

More later...

Movie & TV Mind Teasers - A Film Babble Pop Quiz

It's film babble blog's 80th post! So I thought instead of the regular movie review babble I'd indulge in a sideline love of mine: MOVIE & TV MIND TEASERS! Here's the major unanswered questions in the realm of modern pop-culture in a quick 'n easy pop-quiz format:

1. What was in the briefcase in PULP FICTION?

2. What was in the package that Charlie Meadows (John Goodman) leaves in the care of Barton (John Turturro) in BARTON FINK? 

3. What state is Springfield in on The Simpsons? 

 

4. Why (or how) is Chance the Gardener (Peter Sellers) able to walk on water at the end of BEING THERE? 

5. How (or why) did Groundhog Day keep repeating to Phil Connors (Bill Murray) in GROUNDHOG DAY? 

6. What is the one thing that 13 CONVERSATIONS ABOUT ONE THING is about? 

7. Did Mookie (Spike Lee) do the right thing in DO THE RIGHT THING?

8. When the Fonz (Henry Winkler) moved in over the Cunningham's garage on Happy Days, did he actually pay rent? 

9. How on bloody Earth did those images get on that damn videotape in any version of THE RING?

10. Who killed chauffeur Owen Taylor (Dan Wallace) in THE BIG SLEEP? (Man, if you can answer this...)

EXTRA CREDIT: Who put the monolith on earth during the apes BC segment and on the moon in 2001 in 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY? God or Aliens? - Discuss. 

EXTRA EXTRA CREDIT: Why in Christ's name did Rose (Gloria Stuart) throw the extremely valuable necklace with the diamond into the ocean in TITANIC?!!? I mean it could have helped out her struggling artist daughter and funded further research on the damn boat sinking bullshit - for Christ's sake! Someone please explain it to me!!!! 

Send your answers to: filmbabbleblog@gmail.com 

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Keeping Our Fingers Crossed - Movies To Look Forward To In 2007

“I do not understand this compulsion of mine for seeing movies, it almost seems as if movies are ‘in my blood’”
- Ignatious Reilly (from the novel Confederacy Of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole) 



Hey kids - here’s some things to look forward to (and get our hopes too WAY up for) in 2007:

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE (Dir. David Silverman) – Yep, I know there are a lot of cynics out there ragging on the alleged declining quality of the show and forecasting the worst for this long awaited project but I’m a hardcore fan of the Simpsons and I love the trailers and animatics clips that have leaked out and I’m psyched as Hell because of statements like these: "Since 2001 we'd been working to get a script that would be worthy of people actually paying to see the Simpsons" - Matt Groening

(Simpsons Creator and Guru) 



"I can absolutely guarantee that this film will far exceed the wildest expectations of every Simpsons fan. Start lining up at the theater now, preferably in costume." - Al Jean (Simpsons Executive producer) 



So there's that and the promised guest appearances of Albert Brooks, Joe Mantegna, and Kelsey Grammer (of course as Sideshow Bob) I’m pretty damn confident that this won’t be a big “D’oh!” 



I’M NOT THERE (Dir. Todd Haynes) – Yep, I know that this movie looks weird – I mean that's Cate Blanchett there as Bob Dylan during his 'goes electric' phase. So 6 different people (Blanchett, Christian Bale, Marcus Carl Franklin, Richard Gere, Heath Ledger, and Ben Whishaw) all act as Dylan throughout the various stages of his life - a trippy narrative professedly in the spirit of Bob’s most surreal songs. 



Many a cynic are already protestin' but I’m a hardcore fan of Dylan’s …oh wait I already played that hand. I’ll just say that I’ll be there for this movie’s opening and at the very least it shall be interesting.

SPIDERMAN 3 (Sam Raimi) – The trailers are dark, very dark with Spidey (Tobey Maguire again) in a black tar like parasitic suit. With Topher Grace and Thomas Haden Church joining on - who so totally (okay I'm going to refrain from italics the rest of this post) look to fit seemlessly into the Spiderman world. 



Not sure what exactly is happening plotwise in this one but an operatic spooky trilogy-concluder looks pretty assured.


BE KIND REWIND (Michel Gondry) – The Plot outline as presented on IMDb :

“A man (Jack Black) whose brain becomes magnetized unintentionally destroys every tape in his friend's video store. In order to satisfy the store's most loyal renter, an aging woman with signs of dementia, the two men set out to remake the lost films, which include Back to the Future, The Lion King, and Robocop.” 



On the IMDB message board someone by the handle of iloveduckie asks – “am i the only one who thinks this sounds awesome?” No you certainly aren’t.



 INDIANA JONES AND THE RAVAGES OF TIME AKA INDIANA JONES 4 (Dir. Steven Speilberg) – Can this really be happening? I mean Harrison Ford is 65 and the series seemed nicely tidied up with LAST CRUSADE (1989 - that's right 18 years ago!). 



Well come to think of it Ford still has the rugged deal goin' on and the promise of the return of Sean Connery, Karen Allen, and John Rhys-Davies (Sallah) does sweeten the deal. Still I know I’m not alone in praying those guys know what they’re doing. 



FILM BABBLE BLOG DVD PICK OF THE MONTH:





WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE – A REQUIEM IN FOUR ACTS (Dir. Spike Lee - HBO with a limited theatrical release, 2006) – More than halfway through watching this I half-assedely remarked to a friend over the instant messenger that it was “essentially a 4 hour version of Kanye West’s famous quote." * After watching the deal in it's entireity I must say that was a cheap statement on my part



A glib crappy sound-bite like quote like that might be acceptable from Entertainment Weekly or MediaMaggot but not from FILMBABBLE - yes, that's right I do have standards of some sort. Ill-defined as they are.

WTLB is a powerful heart breaking work that floors me over and over. 



It's great that there's no Michael Moore agenda setting narration from Lee - he just lets the citizens and officials speak (and do they speak) about the injustices done from the non-preparation and the non-reaction to Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. 



In addition to material he filmed from September 2005 shortly after the flood onward - Lee Utilises coverage from all the major networks, CNN & other cable outlets, police camera footage, text from bloggers, home made videos, BBC (in the commentary Lee exclaims "why was this story on the BBC? We weren't seeing this in the States!") and every other source you could think of. If you think this is biased - man, I 'd like to see what someone would put up as a 4 hour counter-point. Actually, no. I wouldn't like that prospect at all.

* If you have to ask what Kanye's 7 word remark after Katrina is maybe you shouldn't be reading this blog. 



More later...

"Holy Crap!" -10 Great Peter Boyle Roles

"Be Adequite"
- Lindsay Lohan (from her self-penned statement of condolences to Robert Altman's family)

"Holy crap!"
- Frank Barone (Peter Boyle) - his repeated reaction * on countless episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond (1996-2005)

* catchphrase if you will.

Hey! Welcome to this special Holiday Edition of Film Babble Blog. More Adventures in Altman Appraisal are coming shortly as requested but first lets pay tribute to the recently departed Peter Boyle (10/18/35-12/12/2006) . Since this is a blog 'bout movies lets forget the Romano sitcom and his other TV work (X-Files, NYPD Blue, Cosby, Cagney & Lacey, etc.) as fine as it was and do one of them there old timey movie lists :

10 GREAT PETER BOYLE MOVIE ROLES

1. JOE (Dir. John G. Avildsen, 1970) Michael Richards's (you know, Kramer from Seinfeld!) recent racist rant has nuthin' on Boyle's bar hound N-word fueled monologue of hate -

"Why work, tell me, why the fuck work, when you can screw, have babies, an' get paid for it?"

Joe's twisted viewpoint goads a straight corporate-type (Dennis Patrick) pushed over the edge to kill some hippies in a vain attempt to rescue his daughter (Susan Sarandon) from a life of degenerecy in this unbelieveably under-rated counter-culture classic.

2. YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (Dir. Mel Brooks, 1974)

Billed as "the Monster" Boyle lays waste all notions of working class tough guy type casting with this nuanced but still hilariously broad characterisation of Frankenstein's creation complete with bolt-in-neck whimpers. Key scene - the show-stopping duet with Frederick Frankenstein (Gene Wilder) on "Puttin' On the Ritz".


3. THE CANDIDATE (Dir. Michael Ritchie, 1972) As one of Bill McCay's (Robert Redford) handlers in his bid to run for Senate, Boyle is the voice of cynical reason.

4. MALCOLM X (Dir. Spike Lee, 1992) Okay, sure he's only on screen for a couple of minutes but it is in such a pivotal scene (for those DVD saavy it is Scene Selection #28 "Turnout For Brother Johnson") in which Malcolm X (Denzel Washington) has his troops march to the hospital while held at bay by horse mounted New York police. To survey the scene comes Captain Green (Boyle) who gets out of his squad car and walks with authority up to the real man in charge :

Green - "Let's disperse this mob!"

After being satisfied with the news from the doctor Malcolm X makes a raised hand pointing motion which immedaitely gets the crowd moving in the direction indicated.

On the commentary Spike Lee says "Peter Boyle right here! Fellow New York Knicks fan...who delivers one of the most memorable lines in this film." -

Green - "That's too much power for one man to have."

5. THE DREAM TEAM (Dir. Howard Zieff, 1989) - Another under-rated movie that was lost in the shuffle of lame pre-BATMAN Michael Keaton comedies at the time. Boyle's performance as former advertising executive Jack McDermott who believes he is a vessel through which Jesus talks is the most memorable of the group of mental patients let on the loose in NYC (the others being Keaton, Stephen Dorff, Christopher Lloyd). Pure Boyle atitude abounds with lines like :

McDermott - "I am the Lord they God. Thou shalt not have strange gods before Me. Out of my way, asshole."

6. WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM (Dir. Art Linson, 1980) As Lazlo - Hunter S. Thompson's attorney in this rambling mess of an adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Terry Gilliam did a more faithful to the book version in 1998) Boyle almost stole the show from Bill Murray. Almost.

7. MONSTER'S BALL (Dir. Mark Forster, 2001) Buck Grotowski, father to the stoic Hank (Billy Bob Thornton) could be considered an older version of JOE - still spitting out racism and masking quiet desperation with gruff acidity. One of Boyle's sharpest and most piercing portrayals.


8. TAXI DRIVER (Dir. Martin Scorsese, 1976) Boyle plays one of Travis Bickle's (Robert De Niro) 'peers' - Limo driver Wizard. Again adding his unique crusty gift of gab:

Wizard - You get the job. You become the job.

9. YELLOWBEARD (Dir. Mel Damski, 1983) - It's been ages (I was 13) since I've seen this unholy mix of Cheech & Chong, Monty Python and Mel Brooks but I do recall Boyle as had his moments as Pirate Moon (who writer and star Graham Chapman based on fellow drinking partner Who drummer Keith Moon and his pirate-like antics).

10.THE SANTA CLAUSE 3 - THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (Dir. Michael Lembeck, 2006) - I haven't seen it but it was has last movie * and hey - he played Father Time. Wanna argue with that?


* Actually his last movie is the yet to be released SHADOWS OF ATTICUS (Dir. Dennis Fallon, 2007)


More later...